Last night I had the worst date ever. It was the pits.
Seriously, someone should have warned me I could have choked.
I tried to read a letter in braille, but I had it upside down.
It was the pits.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Some topical jokes for the Brits:
Government cuts bite deep as former prime ministers slashed by 25%.
What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Savile? Nothing: they're both dead and fucked miners.
Margaret Thatcher has died peacefully following a stroke at the age of 87. I for one am truly devastated a...
In Flames and Inflamed
A man was sent to hell for his sins. As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman. “What a joke!” he said. “I have to roast in flames for all eternity and that lawyer gets to spend it with that beautiful woman.” Satan jabbed the...
A peach murder-suicides his wife and children…
Three days later, a pineapple detective arrives to the crime scene and begins to observe the deteriorated remains of the family.
Pineapple says, “well that’s just the pits.”
I hate cutting up peaches.
It's the pits.
Inner city youths
After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of a car in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the Mc Laren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the inner city youths as most races could be won or lost in the pits. the first race came along and...
The devil is giving a banker a tour of hell...
... and as they're passing the pits of despair the banker notices a pit with no guards. "Won't the sinners escape with no guards?" Asks the banker. The devil replies, "Oh that pit is filled with the socialists, they don't need guards. As soon as one crawls out the others pull him back in."
Welsh joke *long*
This was told to me 35 years ago by Boyd Clack (google him for his works)
Small welsh village and the local vicar has been told that his sermon this week needs to be about the doctrine of the Church of Wales as there had been lots of rumours about the village of ghost sightings.
"and m...
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