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In a restaurant, one of the diners notices that the waiter carries a teaspoon in the pocket of his jacket

He looks at the other waiters and sees that all of them carry teaspoons in the pocket of their jackets. He asks the waiter about it:

"Excuse me, could you tell me why do you carry a teaspoon in your pocket?"

"Well, it has been shown that the teaspoons are the piece which falls most oft...

A boy goes to the doctor and gets some medicine prescribed

The next week he comes back and the doctor asks him: well, how did it go? Did you do as I said? Every day 1 teaspoon of the medicine and a warm bath? I tried, the boy replies, but I just couldn’t finish the warm bath!

Why was the teaspoon arrested?

For causing such a stir!!

Should You Be Institutionalized?

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtu...

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A guy is staying at a bed and breakfast for several weeks.

The bed and breakfast was owned by a little old lady who would cook the most amazing biscuits for breakfast every morning. The guy loved these biscuits so much that he would eat five or six every morning and he even extended his stay at the bed and breakfast just so he could eat more of these amazi...

On his 74th birthday, an old man received a gift certificate from his wife...

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.

Th...

Gunpowder therapy

A boy goes to his grandfather and says "Grandpa, how did you ever get so old?"

"Well," replies the grandfather, "every morning, I pour a teaspoon of gunpowder into my coffee, and I guess that's the reason." So the boy begins drinking coffee and doing the same.

90 years pass, and the bo...

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Ted Was Worried... [LONG]

Ted, my friend and colleague for many years called me (into his office) and told me he was worried his wife was having an affair.

"I think she's having an affair with Greg from sales" he told me.

I asked him "what makes you think that?

"Ah, well" he explained "Whenever my wife h...

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, are sleeping in a hotel...

The hotel catches on fire, so the engineer goes to the bathroom, fills up a couple buckets of water, and puts out the fire in his room then happily go back to sleep. The physicist calculates the center of the fire, measures out a teaspoon of water, and throws it in the center, putting out the fire a...

The doctor was showing the visitor around the insane asylum

,and showing him a test to decide whether people should be admitted as patients. "We fill a bathtub with water and we hand the person a teaspoon, a cup, and a pail." "Oh," says the visitor, "So the normal person will use the pail to empty the tub." The doctor replied, "No, actually, a normal person ...

Senior citizen

I went to my nearby Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists' high counter is located.

I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.

The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me.

I said, "Yes! Could you ...

Long life

A old friend of mine passed the other day, she was 107 years old, I asked her once what her secret to living so long was, she told me that when she was a child she asked her great grandfather the same question and he told her to sprinkle a teaspoon of gunpowder on top of her oatmeal every morning, ...

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[OC] My wife likes things done her way and her way only

When I make her a cup of tea I have to use the same type of tea, the water needs to be exactly 86 degrees Celsius, I have to put exactly 1 and a half grams of sugar in before the teabag goes in, stir it six times to the left and once to the right and then add 4 teaspoons of skimmed milk.

If I...

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How to cook leftovers

Ingredients:

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
Pinch of salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
5 eggs
2 cups cake flour

STEP ONE- Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

STEP TWO- Place the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl after greasing the cake pan and beat them ...

I am digging old jokes from my hdd: 1. Hospital

>hey guys, seeing this subreddit full of repost jokes make me want to dig old jokes i saved in my laptop. these are mostly in my native language, so forgive me with bad translation.

Hospital

A father asked the doctor in a mental hospital, "Doctor, how do doctors know someone is not ...

One day Paddy goes into a pharmacy..

He reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon.

He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon and offers it to the pharmacist.

"Could you taste this for me, please?"

The pharmacist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid aro...

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Vodka Christmas Cake recipe

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes.
Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!)

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. baking powder

1 cup water

1 tsp. salt ...

Asylum

A reporter is looking for a new story and thought an asylum for the insane would make a nice story. There, his first question is how they know who is sane and who's insane. "Well," the woman working there replied "We give everyone a teaspoon, a tablespoon and a bucket. Then we lead them to the bathr...

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