Some shallots were hired to break some scallions out of Alcatraz...
But when the job was done and they were back on the boat, the realized that they had also sprung a leek by mistake.
There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs...
What did Gandalf say when an onion tried to cross the bridge?
You shallot pass!
In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.
As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"