UPJOKE
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Difference Between a Condom and a Coffin

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?



\- Well, they both hold stiffies but one's cumin and one's going.

I switched the labels on all my wife’s spices.

I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

My friend ate so much exotic spice, he practically turned into another species.

He's a cumin being.

What's the difference between coriander and cumin?

You can't coriander your pants.

I recently read an article about the history of spices used in curry...

It was a cumin interest story.

I changed the tags of my mother’s herb jars. She hasn’t notice it yet..

But the thyme is cumin

What did the Spice Girl say when she messed up on her dance moves?

"Hey, I'm only Cumin!"

(I know! It great! Thought of that last night while making dinner!)

I switched the labels on the jars in my wife's spice rack. She hasn't noticed it yet...

I know the Thyme is Cumin.

What did the kinky chilli dish say to the chef?

Put some cumin me

NSFW What did one spice say to the other during intercourse?

I'M CUMIN!!

Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap around the labels on my wifes spice rack. So far, she hasn't noticed.

Mark my words though, the thyme is cumin.

If you told me you have a great eye for spices...

...then I'd bet you saw this cumin from a mile away.

The Master Chef

A master chef brags to another man that he has at long last created the perfect dish. A dish so delicious that no man alive could resist it culinary divinity.

The man asks how such a dish is possible.

The chef responds that the secret is his artfully crafted blend of herbs and spices t...

My friend Will joined a spice-of-the-month club but got the same spice each month since January

I'm like, "Will, the year starts cumin and it don't stop cumin."

My girlfriend said she would leave me because I argue with her about spices

She hasn't left yet, still I think the thyme is cumin

My roommate dissed my cooking and walked out of the kitchen.

So I threw a spice jar at the back of his head.
He never saw that cumin.

dining at a Mexican restaurant one day, I saw the chef throw a spice bottle and hit one of the waiters in the head

"Ow! screamed the waiter, "I didn't see that cumin!"

What did the turmeric say when there was a knock on the door during Christmas Dinner??

"Cumin! Tis' the season!"

I swapped all the labels around on my wife's spice rack.

She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.

I have been secretly messing with people's spice racks...

You might not know it, but your thyme is cumin.

I’ve got too much thyme on my hands

My hours are only parsley filled. I have anise and a nephew that I babysit, they are gingers, while my hair is salt and pepper. I guess these puns are kinda vanilla, but they’re just going to keep cumin. What’s a superheroes favorite garnish? Capers! If I keep it up you might spray me with mace. A g...

I prepared a surprise dinner for my GF to teach her about different kind of spices

She doesn't know what's cumin

Sperm bank

The receptionist at the sperm bank was wondering why I'd brought my spice rack. I told her I was there to drop off the cumin jar.

The wife and I were trying to spice things up in the bedroom...

so now I cumin her every thyme.

A wizard turned my cat into a pile of Indian spice!

Oh lawd, he cumin!

What did the spice jar say as he emptied into the dish?

Oh my god, I'm cumin!!!

What's the worst way to introduce yourself to a seasoning?

Cumin side her.

What is a volcano's favorite spice?

Ground cumin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kinky sex

Hubby says "I fancy kinky sex, can I cum in your ear?"

Wife says "NO I might go deaf"

Hubby says "I've been cumin in your mouth for 20 years and you're still fucking talking!!"

Did you hear about the hostage situation at the spice factory?

They used a cumin shield.

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