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Tanker Jokes

Give a Russian Tanker Vodka, He'll Be Warm for a Night

Set his ammunition on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Newsflash! Tanker truck carrying brine has crashed and spilled its contents all over the highway.

Motorists are reported to be in a pickle.

There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea.

One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint.

They collide...

All the survivors were marooned.

What do you get when you mix Vodka with laxatives?

A Russian tanker in Ukraine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An RAF KC-2 Extender refuelling aircraft and two Eurofighter Typhoons were returning to their base in Cypress...

After flying a 4 hour patrol of the Ukrainian border.

The Typhoon leader called the Tanker pilot and asked “Don’t you guys get bored just punching circles in the sky for hours? Watch this...”

And he proceeded to do a barrel roll around the tanker.

“Impressive!” Said the KC-2 Ca...

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

BREAKING NEWS!

Two tanker ships collided and sank in the southern Pacific Ocean yesterday. One was filled with red paint and the other, smaller tanker, was filled with blue paint. All crew members survived but now are marooned on an uninhabited island.

(Thanks to The Two Ronnies for this oldie)

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature.

He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush.
As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morning, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the le...

French investigators aren’t sure how the fire started. But Quasimodo said:

Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know the Middle East is about to go through a serious shitstorm when...

...commercial Oil tankers are attacked.

Two converts set off to go join ISIS...

Hasan and Hussein set off to go join ISIS. Hasan flew to Istanbul first class, but Hussein was on the no fly list and had to stow away on an empty oil tanker. But Hasan gifted Hussein a heavy backpack of food and cigarettes to make the trip more bearable.

But when they got to Syria, the ISI...

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