The 23+ Best Warship Jokes

What do you call a warship that hosts greek weddings?

A dishtroyer.

The Russian Navy has announced that it's commissioning glass-bottom warships

...so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.

Why do Swedish warships have a barcode on the side?

So they can Scandinavian :)

TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port.

Whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's yatch capsizes and he is about to drown in the middle of the ocean

Loudly he proclaimes "Nothing to fear! My lord will save me!"

A tug boat comes by and the sailor spots the man

"It's your lucky day mate, jump in and I'll take you to shore"

The man replies, "thankyou for the kind offer but I have no fear, my lord will save me!"

"Suit you...

What did the fishing boat say to the man'owar?

I warship you

How do you sink a Polish warship?

You put it in water

You can spend all day thinking of names for maneuverable armored warships...

.. but at some point you have to say ‘frigate’ and move on.

I was going to tell a joke about a particular type of warship

but frigate

My friend is obsessed with Navy destroyers

He warships them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So an American soldier and a Japanese soldier wash up alone on two neighbouring islands during WW2...

So an American soldier and a Japanese soldier wash up alone on two neighbouring islands during WW2.... A few days after washing up onshore, the American is gazing over at the neighbouring island and spots a Japanese soldier staring back at him.

The American tries shouting out to the man but d...

Us NAVY joke

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your cou...

What costs the most money to keep running?

5th : a family car

4th : a boat

3d : a tank

2nd : a warship

1st : a girlfriend

Why do French warships have glass bottoms?

So that they can see the rest of their fleet.

TIL that the U.S. almost declared war against Russia by thinking that an allied underwater warship on their radar belonged to Russia...

Oops...wrong sub

TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine.

Oops, wrong sub!

11 jokes from the world's oldest joke book

1. A Student Dunce Goes Swimming

"A student dunce went swimming and almost drowned. So now he swears he'll never get into water until he's really learned to swim."

2 An Intellectual Visits a Friend

"An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man...

What do you call a navy church

A place of warship

A U.S. warship is conducting war exercises off the coast of N. Korea

The captain accidentally launches a live cruise missile at N. Korea. The missile strikes Pyongyang and kills Kim Jong Un. The captain goes on trial and is found guilty. President Trump attends the sentencing hearing due to its importance. The captain begs Trump for a pardon explaining that he killed...

TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines.

Edit:Whoops, wrong sub.

A pirate captain is on the high seas...

A Pirate captain is on the high seas with his crew. Suddenly, his first mate comes running up to him in a panic. "Captain! Five British warships have been spotted! They are headed directly for us, battle is inevitable." The captain strokes his grizzled beard and replies, "Bring me my red shirt!" The...

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?

Because an elephant never frigates.

aaahhhthankyou

While having an all-out war with underwater warships, I accidentally hit one of my teammates.

Oops wrong sub.

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