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Warship Jokes

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on their stern?

So they can Scandinavian.

What do you call a warship that hosts greek weddings?

A dishtroyer.

How do you sink a Polish warship?

You put it in water

What do you call a chapel in a naval dockyard

A place of warship

The Russian Navy has announced that it's commissioning glass-bottom warships

...so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.

I was going to tell a joke about a particular type of warship

but frigate

You can spend all day thinking of names for maneuverable armored warships...

.. but at some point you have to say ‘frigate’ and move on.

Why do French warships have glass bottoms?

So that they can see the rest of their fleet.

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?

Because an elephant never frigates.



aaahhhthankyou

TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines.

Edit:Whoops, wrong sub.

TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine.

Oops, wrong sub!

TIL that the U.S. almost declared war against Russia by thinking that an allied underwater warship on their radar belonged to Russia...

Oops...wrong sub

While having an all-out war with underwater warships, I accidentally hit one of my teammates.

Oops wrong sub.

What did the fishing boat say to the man'owar?

I warship you

What costs the most money to keep running?

5th : a family car

4th : a boat

3d : a tank

2nd : a warship

1st : a girlfriend

My friend is obsessed with naval destroyers.

He warships them.

A US Ship was sailing through dense fog when it sees another light....

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again...

A pirate captain is on the high seas...

A Pirate captain is on the high seas with his crew. Suddenly, his first mate comes running up to him in a panic. "Captain! Five British warships have been spotted! They are headed directly for us, battle is inevitable." The captain strokes his grizzled beard and replies, "Bring me my red shirt!" The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's yatch capsizes and he is about to drown in the middle of the ocean

Loudly he proclaimes "Nothing to fear! My lord will save me!"

A tug boat comes by and the sailor spots the man

"It's your lucky day mate, jump in and I'll take you to shore"

The man replies, "thankyou for the kind offer but I have no fear, my lord will save me!"

"Suit you...

11 jokes from the world's oldest joke book

1. A Student Dunce Goes Swimming

"A student dunce went swimming and almost drowned. So now he swears he'll never get into water until he's really learned to swim."

2 An Intellectual Visits a Friend

"An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man...

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