Disney have announced they’re rebooting Who Framed Roger Rabbit with Ric Flair played the role of Eddie Valiant. It’s going to be called

Wooooooooo Framed Roger Rabbit

Did you hear that Keith Moon, Peter Townshend, Roger Daltrey and John Entwistle

Broke into a puppy mill and stole confiscated all the animals?

The Who let the dogs out.

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Roger was dying. He didn't have any family left, but had a lot of loyal pets.

He had 2 dogs, Walt and Ivy, 3 cats, Leonid, Willy and Flurry, a turtle named Patience and a bunny named Snuffles.

In his last moments, he asked all pets to join him while he would reveal how he would split his inheritance.

- Dear loyal friends, I love you all very much, but I must le...

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Roger is a hard worker and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.

The doorman at the club spots them and says, “Hey, Roger! How are you tonight?”
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before.
“No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.”


They are seated and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says, “Nice to see you, R...

What did Roger Stone say when he bumped into Donald Trump?

Pardon me.

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding
she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned
that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the
entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares her...

Roger the wingless eagle didn't let the ridicule coming from other able-bodied birds get him down

He was unflappable

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Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

Sean Connery passed away peacefully in his sleep at age 90, he and Roger Moore were good friends...

They shared a Bond.

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Free man

A woman goes to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in jail.

As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes: - "Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?"

And the husband replies:
"Well, my love, what are you going to...

Exactly 50% of Roger Federer’s name is ‘er’!

That’s it, that’s the joke! ;)

Kenny Rogers has died at the age of 81

In a statement to confused reporters, Kenny Loggins was quoted as saying “I’m alright, Don’t nobody worry bout me”

(It’s a Caddyshack joke)

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When i have a martini shaken not stirred, i always add a viagra

It might not make me Daniel Craig, but it will make me Roger more.

How do two droids greet one another?

Roger. Roger.

Will we be able to watch Robert Plant, while Roger Waters and Jeremy Irons?

Probably not, but Brian May!

Kenny Rogers died

He picked a fine time to leave us.

Chic and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five are plotting to destroy the world, and so former arch-enemies the Village People and the Beastie Boys put aside their differences to stop them

The slaughter is brutal and extremely exciting to watch, but finally, it ends in a showdown: Nile Rogers and Grandmaster Flash, laughing as they square up to the last surviving Beastie Boy and the last surviving Village Person.

He straightens his hard hat, draws his sword and charges at Nile ...

Kenny Rogers

Is it too early to say that Kenny Rogers took this whole social distancing thing too far?

One thing we can say about Kenny Rogers...

He certainly knew when to fold ‘em.

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Mr. Rogers the biology teacher called on Mary

"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"

Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.

"Susan, can you tell me t...

RIP Kenny Rogers.

He knew when to walk away.

True story from the in-laws.

Was at the in-laws' place (okay my girlfriend's parents') and was chatting with her father as grandpa was watching a James Bond film.

Father: Well, TheCapedMoose, who's the better bond, Shaun Connery or Roger Moore?

Me: I dunno, it's kind of a toss up...

Father: No it isn't, Sh...

Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend were apprehended in the act of breaking into the kennels and setting the inhabitants free. I guess that makes it official.

The Who let the dogs out.

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Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, Simon Townshend, Zak Starkey, Loren Gold and Jon Button opened the cages at a dog shelter, faciliating the animals' escape.

The Who let the dogs out.

Roger decided he was in no shape to drive as he walked out of the bar

So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.

‘What are you doing out here at three o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.

‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.

‘And who on earth, in their right...

What is Roger Federer's favorite phone

The IPhone 10 s

(non-spoiler) Why could't Team Avengers sign Steve Rogers?

They didn't have enough cap space.

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away

His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred

Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited

“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!”

“No way!”

“Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at t...

With Nixon tattooed on Roger Stone's back...

Inmates will soon get to see a criminal and a liar no matter which side of him they're facing

While Roger Waters

Robert Plants

The band U2 went to the premiere of the new Mr. Rogers film...

...because it’s a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood.

Roger Bannister, the guy who first broke the 4 minute mile, just died at 88.

He had a good run.

Aaron Rogers, Eli Manning and dak Prescott walk into a bar

To watch the playoffs

What do you call Roger Stone's newest tattoo?

A Trump stamp.

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For community service I was ordered to go help out at an old folks home...

I met a nurse who told me about the old man I was going to be helping out with.


She told me that he had had a stroke a few years back and could only say one word. She tasked me with getting him to say at least two words by the end of my time there.


I thought it would be an inte...

So Sir Roger Moore has sadly died.

You could say he is in Double 0 Heaven now

Kenny Rogers was a video game purist who insisted on teaching his kids the correct way to play.

He said, "if you're gonna play the Gameboy, you gotta learn to play it right."

Tributes from around the globe are still pouring in after the death of Sir Roger Moore…

The one from Vladimir Putin read: "From Russia, with love."

Two Americans were walking in the Arabian desert one morning, when they come across a mosque.

They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.

"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some food and something to drink. You'll be Hassan, and I'll be Muhammed", said Roger.

"No way, man. ...

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A man walks into an unfamiliar bar

He sits down at the bar and sees a pot of cash filled to the brim with notes. As he orders his drink he ask the bartender "what's with the pot of cash?"

The barman replies "we have a 3 tier game going on, winner takes all. £100 entry."

"Just out of curiosity, whats involved?" Asks the ...

You missed a great joke

Carl: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Steve: well I can eat 6.

Carl: no you can eat only 1 because after after eating one you are no longer on an empty stomach.

Steve: Great joke! I will tell my friend.

Steve: dude how many apples can you eat on an empty ...

What does Roger Federer call his backup racket?

The Federer Reserve

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Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-...

TIL that Fred Rogers never got to visit Toronto.

He had to use his imagination to travel to the Land of Maple Leafs.

So Roger Federer retired from his tennis career

He got bored so he started working as a waiter at a restaurant for fun. When he had to bring his first meal to a customer, he suddenly grabbed his tennis racket, threw the meal in the air and smacked it with his racket, against the wall. The customer freaked out. 'WHAT THE HELL!? I'M CALLING THE MAN...

OMG I just saw THE Roger Daltrey!!

The Who?

What is Steve Rogers' favorite cut of beef?

Cap meat

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TIL during the shooting of "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", Porky Pig was accused of sexually harassing Tinkerbell

On contacting Porky Pig, he replied "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"

22-05-2017: Roger Moore

23-05-2017: Roger NoMoore

Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers fight for nicest person ever. Who wins?

They both share the trophy

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Roy Rogers and the mountain lion

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight wh...

A man calls his house to ask his wife a question. A little girl picks up the phone.

"Hi honey, can you put your mom on the phone?"

"I can't, she's upstairs with Uncle Roger"

"You don't have an Uncle Roger"

"Yes I do. He's upstairs with mommy in the bedroom."

Getting angry, the guy keeps his voice calm and says, "Okay honey, this is what I want you to do....

INTERVIEWER: Roger Federer, why do you like Switzerland so much?

RODGER FEDERER: Well the flag is a big plus.

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Roger the Living Head [Story Joke]

So there's this newly married couple, and they love each other quite a bit. So they decide they're going to have a child. Nine months goes by and it's time for the child to be delivered, but when the doctors pull the baby out, it is only a head. It's still crying and healthy, but it has no body besi...

What four words would break Reddit's heart?

Mr. Rogers touched me.

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The Male Anatomy

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize.


Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out befo...

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NSFW I'm pretty sure James Bond was having sex in the hotel room next door last night!!!

All I kept hearing was his lover's voice screaming "***Roger Moore***"

Horrible day

"Houston we have a problem."
*What?*
"Our equipment is malfunctioning and our backup life support has failed, it's just been a horrible day."
*Roger that. Have you tried restarting the...*
"OMG Houston, stop trying to fix the problem, I just want you to listen and be supportive!"

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I was recently clearing out my drug cabinet...

I came across a packet of James Bond 007 branded Viagra.

Apparently they make you Roger Moore!

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How many of you forgave your enemies?

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:

-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"

Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lad...

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They said Viagra wouldn't turn a normal man into James Bond

But it certainly made me Roger Moore.

Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven

At the gate, St. Peter says, "because your beautiful voice and amazing talent brought happiness to so many people, we'll grant you one wish".

Chris thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'd like the world to be a kinder, better place".

So St. Peter killed Roger Ailes.

Airplane Pilot flies with his Cat

There's an old pilot with a little 2-seat plane who loves flying alone with his cat, & goes on all sorts of adventures together.

One day during a flight, he starts experiencing engine trouble, & declares an emergency:

"Mayday, Mayday, engine failure."

After some communic...

Captain America and Peggy Carter finally share a kiss...

Peggy Carter: "That was good."

Steve Rogers: "Your niece thought so too!"

Hillary's emails finally lead to an arrest.

Roger Stone was arrested for his communications with the Trump campaign regarding Wikileaks and Hillary Clinton’s emails.

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Knock knock.... who’s there?

Me: Roger Davidson, residing at 3547 Creebridge crescent in Provo, Utah, phone number (656) 264-7685, SSN 62783755

Them: Roger Davidson, residing at 3547 Creebridge crescent in Provo, Utah, phone number (656) 264-7685, SSN 62783755, who?

Me: you’re fucking kidding me.

A rabbit town hall meeting was held to discuss recent events...

A wolf had been coming to the meadow at night, and had killed and eaten a rabbit every night for the past week. They decided to put a watchrabbit on watch. When the wolf came, the watchrabbit would shout "wolf", and they would all hide. Naturally, they chose Roger, who the best eyesight.

Unfo...

In honor of Intl Talk Like A Pirate Day: a pirate joke megathread

To start:


Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag on the cheap?

A: He bought it on sail.

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