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Roger is a hard worker and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.

The doorman at the club spots them and says, “Hey, Roger! How are you tonight?”
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before.
“No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.”


They are seated and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says, “Nice to see you, R...

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding
she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned
that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the
entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares her...

Roger the wingless eagle didn't let the ridicule coming from other able-bodied birds get him down

He was unflappable

Sean Connery passed away peacefully in his sleep at age 90, he and Roger Moore were good friends...

They shared a Bond.

What did Roger Stone say when he bumped into Donald Trump?

Pardon me.

Kenny Rogers has died at the age of 81

In a statement to confused reporters, Kenny Loggins was quoted as saying “I’m alright, Don’t nobody worry bout me”

(It’s a Caddyshack joke)

Exactly 50% of Roger Federer’s name is ‘er’!

That’s it, that’s the joke! ;)

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Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

True story from the in-laws.

Was at the in-laws' place (okay my girlfriend's parents') and was chatting with her father as grandpa was watching a James Bond film.

Father: Well, TheCapedMoose, who's the better bond, Shaun Connery or Roger Moore?

Me: I dunno, it's kind of a toss up...

Father: No it isn't, Sh...

Will we be able to watch Robert Plant, while Roger Waters and Jeremy Irons?

Probably not, but Brian May!

Kenny Rogers died

He picked a fine time to leave us.

One thing we can say about Kenny Rogers...

He certainly knew when to fold ‘em.

What’s Roger Federer’s favorite time of day?

Ten-ish

Kenny Rogers

Is it too early to say that Kenny Rogers took this whole social distancing thing too far?

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Mr. Rogers the biology teacher called on Mary

"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"

Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.

"Susan, can you tell me t...

RIP Kenny Rogers.

He knew when to walk away.

Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend were apprehended in the act of breaking into the kennels and setting the inhabitants free. I guess that makes it official.

The Who let the dogs out.

Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited

“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!”

“No way!”

“Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at t...

Roger decided he was in no shape to drive as he walked out of the bar

So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.

‘What are you doing out here at three o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.

‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.

‘And who on earth, in their right...

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Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, Simon Townshend, Zak Starkey, Loren Gold and Jon Button opened the cages at a dog shelter, faciliating the animals' escape.

The Who let the dogs out.

What is Roger Federer's favorite phone

The IPhone 10 s

(non-spoiler) Why could't Team Avengers sign Steve Rogers?

They didn't have enough cap space.

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away

His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred

With Nixon tattooed on Roger Stone's back...

Inmates will soon get to see a criminal and a liar no matter which side of him they're facing

Roger Stone has been found guilty on all counts

He faces minutes, maybe an hour, in prison.

The band U2 went to the premiere of the new Mr. Rogers film...

...because it’s a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood.

While Roger Waters

Robert Plants

Mr. Rogers had a 9 step guide to talking to Children. I have 1 Step.

Step 1 - Don't Talk to Children

Roger Bannister, the guy who first broke the 4 minute mile, just died at 88.

He had a good run.

What do you call Roger Stone's newest tattoo?

A Trump stamp.

Aaron Rogers, Eli Manning and dak Prescott walk into a bar

To watch the playoffs

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A man walks into an unfamiliar bar

He sits down at the bar and sees a pot of cash filled to the brim with notes. As he orders his drink he ask the bartender "what's with the pot of cash?"

The barman replies "we have a 3 tier game going on, winner takes all. £100 entry."

"Just out of curiosity, whats involved?" Asks the ...

Roger walked into a sports bar around 9:58 p.m.

Roger, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 p.m.

He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10 o'clock news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Roger a...

You missed a great joke

Carl: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Steve: well I can eat 6.

Carl: no you can eat only 1 because after after eating one you are no longer on an empty stomach.

Steve: Great joke! I will tell my friend.

Steve: dude how many apples can you eat on an empty ...

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Blonde Joke

Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" ...

So Sir Roger Moore has sadly died.

You could say he is in Double 0 Heaven now

It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound

It can now be said that The Who let the dogs out

Why don't boats like it when Steve Rogers stares at them?

Cap's eyes

Kenny Rogers was a video game purist who insisted on teaching his kids the correct way to play.

He said, "if you're gonna play the Gameboy, you gotta learn to play it right."

Two Americans were walking in the Arabian desert one morning, when they come across a mosque.

They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.

"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some food and something to drink. You'll be Hassan, and I'll be Muhammed", said Roger.

"No way, man. ...

TIL that Fred Rogers never got to visit Toronto.

He had to use his imagination to travel to the Land of Maple Leafs.

Tributes from around the globe are still pouring in after the death of Sir Roger Moore…

The one from Vladimir Putin read: "From Russia, with love."

What four words would break Reddit's heart?

Mr. Rogers touched me.

What does Roger Federer call his backup racket?

The Federer Reserve

So Roger Federer retired from his tennis career

He got bored so he started working as a waiter at a restaurant for fun. When he had to bring his first meal to a customer, he suddenly grabbed his tennis racket, threw the meal in the air and smacked it with his racket, against the wall. The customer freaked out. 'WHAT THE HELL!? I'M CALLING THE MAN...

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Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-...

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TIL during the shooting of "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", Porky Pig was accused of sexually harassing Tinkerbell

On contacting Porky Pig, he replied "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"

What is Steve Rogers' favorite cut of beef?

Cap meat

OMG I just saw THE Roger Daltrey!!

The Who?

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Excellent joke from Roger Ailes

It seems a liberal in a hot-air balloon is lost and late for an appointment and descends to ask a conservative for directions. The conservative pulls out a GPS device and tells him exactly where he is.

“You must be a conservative,” the balloon man says. The man on the ground asks how he knows...

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The Male Anatomy

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize.


Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out befo...

Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers fight for nicest person ever. Who wins?

They both share the trophy

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NSFW I'm pretty sure James Bond was having sex in the hotel room next door last night!!!

All I kept hearing was his lover's voice screaming "***Roger Moore***"

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Roy Rogers and the mountain lion

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight wh...

INTERVIEWER: Roger Federer, why do you like Switzerland so much?

RODGER FEDERER: Well the flag is a big plus.

A man calls his house to ask his wife a question. A little girl picks up the phone.

"Hi honey, can you put your mom on the phone?"

"I can't, she's upstairs with Uncle Roger"

"You don't have an Uncle Roger"

"Yes I do. He's upstairs with mommy in the bedroom."

Getting angry, the guy keeps his voice calm and says, "Okay honey, this is what I want you to do....

Horrible day

"Houston we have a problem."
*What?*
"Our equipment is malfunctioning and our backup life support has failed, it's just been a horrible day."
*Roger that. Have you tried restarting the...*
"OMG Houston, stop trying to fix the problem, I just want you to listen and be supportive!"

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Roger the Living Head [Story Joke]

So there's this newly married couple, and they love each other quite a bit. So they decide they're going to have a child. Nine months goes by and it's time for the child to be delivered, but when the doctors pull the baby out, it is only a head. It's still crying and healthy, but it has no body besi...

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I was recently clearing out my drug cabinet...

I came across a packet of James Bond 007 branded Viagra.

Apparently they make you Roger Moore!

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How many of you forgave your enemies?

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:

-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"

Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lad...

Airplane Pilot flies with his Cat

There's an old pilot with a little 2-seat plane who loves flying alone with his cat, & goes on all sorts of adventures together.

One day during a flight, he starts experiencing engine trouble, & declares an emergency:

"Mayday, Mayday, engine failure."

After some communic...

Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven

At the gate, St. Peter says, "because your beautiful voice and amazing talent brought happiness to so many people, we'll grant you one wish".

Chris thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'd like the world to be a kinder, better place".

So St. Peter killed Roger Ailes.

Captain America and Peggy Carter finally share a kiss...

Peggy Carter: "That was good."

Steve Rogers: "Your niece thought so too!"

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Knock knock.... who’s there?

Me: Roger Davidson, residing at 3547 Creebridge crescent in Provo, Utah, phone number (656) 264-7685, SSN 62783755

Them: Roger Davidson, residing at 3547 Creebridge crescent in Provo, Utah, phone number (656) 264-7685, SSN 62783755, who?

Me: you’re fucking kidding me.

Hillary's emails finally lead to an arrest.

Roger Stone was arrested for his communications with the Trump campaign regarding Wikileaks and Hillary Clinton’s emails.

Queen were on their very first tour and there was a mishap in booking hotel rooms.

They were meant to book two rooms with two beds each - instead they ended up with a single room with one bed. They were considering drawing straws to determine who would sleep on the floor, but miraculously, Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon and Roger Taylor all managed to fit comfortably on t...

In honor of Intl Talk Like A Pirate Day: a pirate joke megathread

To start:


Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag on the cheap?

A: He bought it on sail.

A rabbit town hall meeting was held to discuss recent events...

A wolf had been coming to the meadow at night, and had killed and eaten a rabbit every night for the past week. They decided to put a watchrabbit on watch. When the wolf came, the watchrabbit would shout "wolf", and they would all hide. Naturally, they chose Roger, who the best eyesight.

Unfo...

Three Men are Arrested...

Three men are arrested on suspicion of bank robbery. The Chief of Police is waiting for the file, which a young Sergeant brings him. "So, who are the perps?" The Chief asks, as the Sergeant looks at the files. "Victor Hammon, Timothy Rogers, and Lesley Arrane." The Sergeant replies.

The Chie...

The American soccer team visited an orphanage today.

"It's heartbreaking to see their sad faces without hope." said Bill Rogers, age 6.

Walks into a bar

Kenny Rogers, Styx and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. they sit down at a table and no one waits on them for several minutes. They all notice a waitress at the same time and try calling to her.

Styx: layyyyyyydy,
Kenny Rogers: Laydddy
Jerry Lewis: Laaaaaaaaaaaaady,

Guy: "Come over"

Girl: "Roger, I'm coming over"

Guy: "We should stop using walkie-talkies in bed, over."

At the sister’s

“Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?”

“She’s a liar and a cheat! She said she was the whole night at her sister’s!”

“So? Maybe she was.”

“Yeah, no way. I was at her sister’s the whole night!”

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