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A chance to escape Hell

The other day Bubba and I were walking around town when, out of nowhere, we get run over by a truck and die, and we both go straight to hell.

In hell, I'm greeted by the devil, who tells me that I have two choices: I can either stay in hell being tortured for all of eternity, or I can have se...

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Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. The father added, "First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing....

My ex wife is a pirates worst nightmare !

A sunken chest with no booty .........

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That sunken Nazi submarine they just found is a lot like my girlfriend

Dead and full of seamen

The U.S. congress has passed a massive budget to salvage a sunken vessel last year, today they announced their result

The U.S. navy believes it may have discovered the wreckage of the nation’s military submarine, Squalus, which disappeared a century ago off the coast of Isles of Shoals.

A navy mine hunter reportedly made a “contact of interest” while conducting an underwater search for Squalus. The contact w...

What do you call an underwater Dunken Donuts?

Sunken Donuts

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven,

where Saint Peter gives him a nice, modern six-bedroom house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill quickly settles into the afterlife.

One day he is out walking when he bumps into a man wearing a fine tailored suit.

"That's really nice," says Bill. "Where ...

The Indian chief goes to the white man doctor and asks "Too many papoose! What do?"

The doc gives him a condom, and explains the principles.

A couple of months later, the chief comes back, saying "No good! Right nut go urggh! Left nut go urrgh! Rubber go boom!"

So the doc cuts a few custom "rubbers" out of the fingers of a heavy duty latex glove, saying "Try these...

Two submarines are trying to win a competition

Each one of them has to try and hit objects that are smaller and smaller in size.

Every day they choose an object in the ocean, and declare that the objective before trying to hit it:

*"Today we'll hit that sunken ship"* and off they go.

Then it's the other team's turn: ...

An ant colony

I was gardening in my backyard. Then I saw an ant colony and blasted water at it. Guess you could call it the sunken city of ant-lantis.

A group of pirates walked out of a strip club with disappointed looks on their faces.

They were hoping to find some booty, but all they got were sunken chests.

Captain Flint and his crew of cutlass wielding marauders, set sail for Clew Bay, ready to take down the Filthy Five Hundred and collect upon their bounty.

Retrieving the heads of these skallywags will net him $1 per ear, and Captain Flint was ready to lay down his life for it. With $1000 he could buy an entire fleet with 50 men per ship. He'd be the most feared Pirate in the Atlantic!

After 2 days of fighting by sea and shore, Captain Flint an...

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar hysterical. He runs up to the bartender and says "help there's a wizard on a horse who's trying to kill me! Please I need to use your phone!" The bartender, thoroughly confused, studders and says "okay." The crazed man calls his wife, "honey, there's a wizard on a horse who's ...

What is a pirates favourite letter

It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty.

(New original take on old joke)

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My snake likes what he likes...

A man and his snake walk into a restaurant.
The man seats himself at a table, and his snake slithers up onto the seat next to him. Shortly later, Becky the waitress comes to take his order and the man declares, “I want 22 hamburgers- two for me and 20 for my pet snake here.”
Becky the basic wh...

My ex girlfriend was like a pirate's quest...

...she had a sunken chest and always kept me searching for the booty.

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Why do pirates like girls with small tits?

Because they always search for sunken chests

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Kim Yong Il, Stalin and Hitler have their personal hell...

...which consists of a swamp that will let you sink deeper the more lies you spread during your time as a leader.

Kim Yong Il is buried till his waist.

Stalin is buried till his chest.

Hitler is standing upright above them all, barely sunken in till his ankles with a big grin on...

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So the guy asks the pharmacist for a "little help"...

"Ya gotta help me, doc!" cried the man. "I'm not as young as I used to be, and I've got two hot women coming over tonight!"
The pharmy says "I've got just the thing! A little Spanish Fly! Be sure to only use *one drop* per day like the instructions say!"
The man goes home, and deci...

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