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My ex took the plunger when she left. (OC)

I found out at the shittiest time.

They say to upset a blind man, leave the plunger in the toilet...

But I think you'd frustrate him more by putting door handles all over the wall.

how do you surprise a blind guy?

you leave the plunger in the toilet

What do men and plungers have in common?

They spend most of their lives in either a hardware store, or a bathroom.

People always tell me that my face is to pale so I stuck a plunger to my face...

I've heard they help make things flush

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Got the wife a plunger for xmas...

Cause she loves to bring up old shit.

A condom is like a plunger

You never know when you will need it but it's great to have just in case.

The police raided my house and found dynamite, wire and a detonator with a plunger

Eyes welling with tears, I begged, “PLEASE don’t press charges!”

One day there were three grave robbers searching through a graveyard in Central America

They came across an Ancient Mayan temple which had three doors. the first grave robber walker up to the first door and looked inside, he saw a black pedestal with nothing on it, and in the back of the room there were piles of gold and riches, so he walked in and grabbed a handful of gold, but as he ...

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There are three men named Shit, Manners and shut up

Shit got stuck in a toilet and Manners went to help and try and pull him out. Shut up decided he should buy a plunger from a hardware store to help get him out and drove off. Halfway there a policeman pulled him over for speeding and asked “what’s you name” Shut up said “Shut up” the policeman got a...

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How did Helen Keller lose her virginity

Granny forgot to remove the plunger.

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Two friends, Bob and Sam, are bored are sitting around the house. Bob asks Sam do you want to play a game?

**NOTE: This joke only really works in person and told to a group of people. **

Sam says "Ok, what's the game?"

Bob replies, "I'll blind fold you and put something up your butt and you have to guess what it is."

Sam hesitantly says, "umm ok" and puts a blind fold on and drops h...

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I came home to find candle light in my dining table,my favourite meatloaf in the oven and my wife dressed up in lingerie

She came close to me and whispered " I shaved my vagina . Do you know what that means ?"

"Oh fuck , you clogged the drains again! Where is the plunger? "

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her as a kid?

*They left the plunger IN the toilet*

People used to be a lot more optimistic in the past, but things have taken quite a turn haven't they. The economy's uncertain, salaries are shrinking, jobs are dissipating. Morale is generally quite low nowadays.

If the elevator were invented today, it would be called the plunger.

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My girlfriend does not like that I debate and back my shit up.

Do you know where I can get a plunger?

A few Helen Keller jokes. Feel free to add your own!

1. "Did you know Helen Keller had a really fancy doll house?"
"Neither did she.

2. "Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?"
"You would too if your name was BALLRUGEKLHEBSKLH!"

3. "How do you punish Helen Keller?"
"Rearrange the furniture and keep a plunger in the toilet."

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So it is my anniversary

I couldn't think of what to get her...

But I finally settled on a plunger, because bitches love bringing up old shit

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