This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know what's funny about bathing suits?

If a man swims in a bathing suit that only covers his private parts, he will almost always be swimming competitively. If a woman swims in a bathing suit that only covers her private parts, she will almost always be swimming casually.

Jeff Bezos’ next big project is to have custom made suits delivered to your house within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

Two men in suits walk into a bar

Two men in suits walk into a bar. That night, the bar is hosting an event where people get to test their sommelier skills. The first man is given a wine glass and after swirling it around and drinking it, he says “A red wine. Hints of passion fruit and chestnut.”

After watching the first man...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbi and a priest wanted to go for a swim at the beach, but did not have bathing suits with them...

The priest turns to the rabbi and says "why don't we just swim naked, there's no one around, and we'll keep it between ourselves".

The rabbi sees no problem with the idea, and agrees.

Once naked, the rabbi and the priest start walking towards the water, when suddenly out of nowhere see...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jumper cable joke

A guy from the country has some work to do in the city. It's all paperwork and he hates that shit. When he finally gets everything finished he decides to stop and have a beer before driving back home.

Unfortunately, the first place he stops is a posh fern bar. The bartender goes, "Dude, I ...

Donald Trump’s lawsuits are like his regular suits,

They all hang on something useless.

Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?

From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.

In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."

We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines." said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here." said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines." said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week." declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines." repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack." offere...

I want to hire a Mexican, An Italian and a Russian

To show up at my funeral in black suits and say "thank you boss", then leave.
Just so that my Family and Friends would think I had something Big going on.

Two Irishmen walk past a shop window with a sign in it that says, ‘Suits £2 Shirts £1.50!!!’

One Irishman nudges the other with excitement and says, “We are going to make our fortune here today”, and they enter the shop excitedly.

They walk up to the counter and one of the Irishmen says “Can we get 50 suits and 50 shirts please?”

The lady behind the counter looks at them with...

My friend is making easy money by selling photos of salmon dressed in suits.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

Two men in suits of armour enter a hotel...

And ask for a room for two knights.

Relationships

They are like the suits in a pack of cards,

They start out all hearts and diamonds………..

…….but eventually you wish you had a club and a spade!

A blonde looking to make some money.

A blonde looking to make some money is walking down the high street.
He walks past a shop front and can't believe his eyes when he sees the sign:
"suits-$12
Shirts-$3"
Being a businessman, he starts calculating. He realizes this is a great opportunity, he can start a clothing export ...

Greek Philosopher Gets A Suit

A Greek Philosopher walks into a tailor's office and asks for 300 suits to be delivered to him.


The tailor offers some proposals: "I can send those in plastic bags, or I could even send those in parcels."


The Greek philosopher replies : "no, no, no I would like them to be deliv...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.