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Suicide Bomber Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would a suicide bomber die for?

A blowjob

How do you call a suicide bomber with Tourette’s?

A ticking time bomb

Where do suicide bombers go after they die?

Everywhere.

What's suicide bombers' biggest fear?

Dying alone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A suicide bomber went to heaven.

The Angel at the front desk greeted him.

"Hi, welcome. There are 72 very horny virgins waiting for you!"

"I knew it! said the bomber. "Bring me the women!"

The Angel smiled.

"Who mentioned women?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't see why you would become an Islamic fundamentalist suicide bomber on the off chance that when you die you get 72 virgins.

Just become a Catholic priest and get them now.

Did you hear about the suicide bomber performing at the comedy open mic night?

He had everyone in pieces!

I am suicide bomber AMA

Wow this blew up fast.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah

He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 prostitutes?"

Allah regarded him for a moment, then ...

A suicide bomber training his new recruits:

"Okay, pay attention, I'm only going to show you this once"

A guy was wondering what being a suicide bomber was like

So I told him, "C4 yourself"

Where does the suicide bomber go after dying?

All over the place

Why are jokes about suicide bombers are not funny.

Well for starters, their delivery is just everywhere.

Did you hear about the influencer who became a suicide bomber?

At first he had barely any followers, but then he blew up.

How do you know all suicide bombers self identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD

Sorry for such dark humor lol

How can you tell if being a suicide bomber really guarantees you blessings in the afterlife?

You have to C4 yourself

What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber?

I bet you don't have the guts to do that again.

I'm not worried about Muslim suicide bombers

They can only do it once. Those Hindu suicide bombers are the real threat.

A suicide bomber instructor says to his trainees

“Alright men, I’m only going to show you this once”

What do you call a suicide bomber that can tell the future?

A tarot-ist

A terrorist commander is interviewing for a suicide bomber position...

"So good news-there is a sudden vacancy. We couldn't track down any of your recs, which is great. I just have one final question-where do you see yourself in the \*glances at watch\* next five minutes?"

What do Eminem and Suicide bombers have in common?

they only get one shot

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

What is the common thing between an entrepreneur and a suicide bomber ?

Do the job well on first try and they are set for life.

I told a suicide bomber she looked fat

Boy, that really blew up in my face.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A suicide bomber goes to heaven to receive his 72 virgins...

But all he sees are other men just like himself.

Confused, he asks one of them where his virgins are.
The man replies, "Brother, we are all virgins."

What did the suicide bomber instructor say to the students ?

Right, I’m only gonna tell you this once

What's worse than a suicide bomber?

....a suicide bomber with a resume.

BREAKING NEWS.. Isis suicide bomber has killed 78

of his family in his two bedroom flat. He had taken government advice and was working from home

A suicide bomber tripped outside a news kiosk

He's all over the front pages.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it better to be a redditor rather than a suicide bomber?

You are guaranteed to meet more virgins..

The last batch of suicide bombers were very tight knit.

They used to sing together, dance together, laugh together. True brethren. At the end they had a blast doing their job.

I just read about a group of suicide bombers that were dressed like clowns.

It's a really messed up story, but credit where credit's due...at least someone's trying to put the fun back in fundamentalism

What was the last thing the Australian suicide bomber was overheard saying?

Tadie’s tha die ta die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

10 ISIS suicide bombers decided to blow up a building

"We must pick a building that will have a mass effect on western culture" the leader says. So they research all the popular websites they can find and have decided on the reddit headquarters.

"YES!!" Another exclaimed! "We can not only dismantle their social construct but we can all attack ...

A suicide bombers last day on the job...

is also his best day on the job.

A suicide bomber school instructor addresses his students

“Today will be a demonstration. Pay very close attention because I’m only going to show you this once.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An al-Qaeda suicide bomber carried out his mission...

And made it to heaven, where he found 72 virgins. Turns out they were all guys playing world of Warcraft.

Its not the Islamic suicide bombers you need to worry about...

Its the Buddhist ones - they keep coming back!

What does my wife and a suicide bomber have in common?

They're nowhere near me when they blow.

Have you heard about the suicide bomber fetish?

Wearing only a vest you run out in public and blow your DNA all over everyone.

Why is the suicide bomber getting so much coverage?

I mean seriously, the guy is all over the place!

Suicide Bombers don’t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

What do college students and suicide bombers have in common?

It's impossible to find either with any experience.

A suicide bomber dies and goes to heaven

At the pearly gates he meets St. Peter who tells him, "I bet you don't have the guts to do that again."

[NSFW] What do you call a French suicide bomber?

Napoleon Blown-Apart



Posting from mobile and don't know how to tag nsfw

A suicide bomber walks into a bar

But he doesn't blow up, because it's an Allahu snack bar.

The teacher to his pupils in a suicide bomber lesson

"Please, pay attention cause I'll only say this once"

What did the imam say when he buried the suicide bomber?

"Rest in piece."

Did you hear about the suicide bomber

Who refused to blow up in front of a crowd??
They say he was a real people Persian

What was the last thing that went through a suicide bombers head?

His foot.

I was going to tell a suicide bomber joke,

but I feel that it would just blow up in my face.

How many people did the Islamic suicide bomber intend to kill?

Allah them.

I don’t get why more people don’t become suicide bombers

I mean, you have guaranteed job security for the rest of your life!

Why is it easy to defeat an army of suicide bombers?

There are no experienced ones

What is a suicide bomber's favorite TV show?

The Big Bang Theory.

Why don't you ask a suicide bomber for directions?

He'll make you go everywhere but where you want to go.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Muslim suicide bomber walks into a crowd of infidels and blows himself up.

He is immediately transported to Paradise, where he finds himself surrounded by seventy-two of the ugliest women anyone has ever laid eyes upon. The suicide bomber is crestfallen.

"C'mon, think it through," Allah pats him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Why do you think they're still virg...

Why aren't there any introverted suicide bombers?

They have a hard time sharing what's inside with strangers.

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