What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

"Ok Boomer"

My girlfriend ran off with a member of ISIS and said shes never coming back

I guess she didnt know what Jihad.

You really have to pay attention in Jihad class

You only get one instructor and one demonstration.

Why did the terrorist's wife leave him?

She didn't know what jihad.

In jihad training

A man learns how to detonate and conceal explosives.

In order to test how good he is at concealing them, he decides to strap some to himself and walk around the camp. Now knowing they were attached to a remote detonator, he suddenly blows up.

After he dies he sees an old friend he le...

My sister got captured by terrorists while vacationing in Iraq

But I guess jihad it coming

Jihad balloons are my favorite

They blow themselves up

Those Jihad magicians really need to learn new tricks...

I'm tired of watching reporters get sawn in half.

My arab wife left me

She never realized what jihad

Why did the Muslim couple divorce?

Jihad an affair.

Why did F and H not convert to Islam?

Because Jihad.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

You know you're ISIS if...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You destroy world heritage but believe we should plant trees.

You have more wives than teeth.

You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

You think vests come in two sty...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.


The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

My muslim wife left me the other day..

I guess she didn't know what jihad.

What game do kids play in the Middle East?

Jihad and seek!

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

72 Virgins

Abdulla tried to contact the soul of his cousin, Naved, who had exploded himself as a suicide bomber. Abdulla wanted to know whether the 'Jihad' legend is true... especially about the 72 virgins they get. So he asked 'How is the social life bro ?' Naved said 'Amazing bro. I can pick any female. ...

A Muslim band just released a cover song

It’s called Jihad Me At Hello

My Muslim girlfriend broke up with me the other day. She'll come to regret it.

She just doesn't know what jihad.

What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings?

Jihad a chance, and you blew it.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I had sex with a terrorist once.

She said I was the best Jihad.

Did you hear about the woman who tried to join ISIS?

I heard jihad a bad time time.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Topical Joes (5/13)

Alright guys, here we are to recap the day's jokes. Let's get started.

First off in the news, it looks like the TSA arrested a woman for singing Whitney Houston on an airplane - but you should've seen what the TSA did when they caught those ridiculous musical militants of the Elton Jihad.
...

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