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Jihad Jokes

Why did the terrorist's wife leave him?

She didn't know what jihad.

In jihad training

A man learns how to detonate and conceal explosives.

In order to test how good he is at concealing them, he decides to strap some to himself and walk around the camp. Now knowing they were attached to a remote detonator, he suddenly blows up.

After he dies he sees an old friend he le...

What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

"Ok Boomer"

You really have to pay attention in Jihad class

You only get one instructor and one demonstration.

Those Jihad magicians really need to learn new tricks...

I'm tired of watching reporters get sawn in half.

What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings?

Jihad a chance, and you blew it.

My girlfriend ran off with a member of ISIS and said shes never coming back

I guess she didnt know what Jihad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're ISIS if...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You destroy world heritage but believe we should plant trees.

You have more wives than teeth.

You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

You think vests come in two sty...

Why did the Muslim couple divorce?

Jihad an affair.

Why did F and H not convert to Islam?

Because Jihad.

My muslim wife left me the other day..

I guess she didn't know what jihad.

So a New Yorker wishes to join the Taliban...

And they take him to their leader.

"Do you accept Allah as your God and Mohammad as your prophet?"

"Yes!"

"Will you jihad for the glory of God and his prophet?"

"Yes!"

"Do you believe that after you die, you will join your brethren in God's paradise where rivers of...

What game do kids play in the Middle East?

Jihad and seek!

My sister got captured by terrorists while vacationing in Iraq

But I guess jihad it coming

My Muslim girlfriend broke up with me the other day. She'll come to regret it.

She just doesn't know what jihad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

72 Virgins

Abdulla tried to contact the soul of his cousin, Naved, who had exploded himself as a suicide bomber. Abdulla wanted to know whether the 'Jihad' legend is true... especially about the 72 virgins they get. So he asked 'How is the social life bro ?' Naved said 'Amazing bro. I can pick any female. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a terrorist once.

She said I was the best Jihad.

You know, after all these years, I hardly remember the first girlfriend I had.

I remember she was Muslim, but physically, all I can recall are the beautiful hazel eyes Jihad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.


The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

A man's son goes off to join isis.

The man laments saying: Why? Jihad so much potential!

Did you hear about the woman who tried to join ISIS?

I heard jihad a bad time time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Joes (5/13)

Alright guys, here we are to recap the day's jokes. Let's get started.

First off in the news, it looks like the TSA arrested a woman for singing Whitney Houston on an airplane - but you should've seen what the TSA did when they caught those ridiculous musical militants of the Elton Jihad.
...

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