Al Qaeda Jokes - 12 Hilarious Al Qaeda Jokes

Whats the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?

Not too sure. I just fly the drone.

A young depressed gentleman calls the Al Qaeda hotline

and says, "I think I need help. I've been having suicidal thoughts."

Then he hears the representative on the other end, "Well, congratulations. You're hired."

What's Al Qaeda's favourite football team??

New York Jets

Al Qaeda has announced that they've captured Russian mercenaries in Mali. If they aren't paid $10 Million

... they'll release the mercenaries unharmed.

Why couldn't Al Qaeda members pass shop class?

Because they always blow it on the building assignment

What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center?

Two large plains.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What makes the Japanese better than Al Qaeda?

At least the Japanese were considerate enough to bring their own planes

The news is saying Al Qaeda is trying to make a comeback.

Lets hope they don't try to play their greatest hits. ‬

I tried to make a living as a comedian, but I constantly bombed every sets.

So I joined Al Qaeda instead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two conspiracy theorists are flying on a plane to a convention when it crashes.

They find themselves before God and tell him "We are but humble men, and for all our life we have sought the truth. You are all-knowing, so you know all the answers."

"What is your question?"

"We would really like to know who was really behind the 9/11".

"Osama bin Laden and the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

President George W. Bush is sitting in his office...

...When one of his informants walks in to report,
"Mr. President, yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed by Al Qaeda."
Bush is silent for a moment as he holds his head in his hands in immense sadness.
"Sir, what's wrong?" asks the informant.
Bush brings his head up to look at t...

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