Origin of the word asian

Me: Bro, it's summer break. Why are you still studying
Ming: I must get A for my exams or I'll bring dishonor to my family
Me: Just because you're Asian? Besides, exams aren't even close. Let's hang out.
Ming: ASIAN WITHOUT A IS SIN

Today on Origins of Words, we look at,

'The long arm of the law'

Originated in 1986, in the Chernobyl region.

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

In his CV, a Job applicant mentioned country of origin as China

That's a red flag.

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".

"I'll have a Campari," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"

The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for...

I have absolute confidence in Jeff's Bezos rocket company Blue Origin

Jeff has already achieved good separation.

The origin of the angel on top of the tree

It must've been the coldest winter ever, with the worst snow storm this world has ever seen brewing in the North Pole on the Eve of Christmas. Santa was bedridden with a nasty stomach bug, and his workshop was short-staffed as many of the elves had contracted ~~herpes from sodomizing each other~~ th...

Women Origin Story

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you,...

One day the zoo keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books; On the Origin of Species and the Bible.

Surprised, he asked the orangutan, "Why are you reading both of those books?"

"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote.

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Again, before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther ...

I always thought the origin of the word "politics" was a strangely accurate description of itself.

"Poli-" meaning "many",

"-tics" meaning "bloodsucking parasites."

The origin of CrossFit can be traced all the way back to ancient Rome.

Take Jesus for example, he fit nicely on that cross.

Three people of distinctly different national and/or ethnic origins walk into a bar.

The first one says something normal and expected.

The second one says something equally typical of what a person in their position might say.

The third one insults all of their countrymen and/or other group to which they belong by making a remark or behavior that is both stereotypical ...

A child and Human Origin

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"


So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."


The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to bec...

[OC] Micheal Jordan's origin story.

Micheal Jordan loved basketball growing up. He was good at it too. Every day at school, he'd be playing basketball and everyone wanted him on thier team.

The only catch was that, he could only play B-Ball at school. There were no courts near his house. So... Micheal's father, whom I will hen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the origin of the word "Boob"?

The "B" is the aerial view, the "oo" is the front view, the "b" is the side view.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A child asks his father about the origins of surnames.

'Well Johnny, you see that surnames originate from the professions. For example, Margaret Thatcher's surname shows that she has the origins of a roof thatcher,' says the father.


'Oh do you have any other names that you could tell me?' pleads little Johnny.


'Well of course there...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Sioux boy wonders about the origins of his name

He asks his brother, "Kicking Bird, who came up with our names?"

"I have no idea." says Kicking Bird.

The boy then finds his buddy and asks, "Ten Bears, where did our names come from?"

Ten Bears replies, "Beats me. Go ask one of the elders."

The boy finds his mother and a...

Origin of 8

It is actually a picture taken of 0 looking behind it, it didn't like it because of the negativity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The origins of the ornamental angel atop the Christmas tree

It's almost New Year's Eve and Santa is getting ready to get to work and bring presents to everyone that has been good this year. So there he is at home, taking a shower and preparing for the big night. Opening his closet, he sifts through his clothes and finds his favorite red coat and trousers, bu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Origin of the vagina

Don't know if repost, but I found this written in my high school science notes from years ago. Obviously I didn't make straight A's.


Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.<...

Bad Dad Panda Joke

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
...

Not sure the origin of this but I heard it recently

So there's a black guy a Mexican guy and a bigot sitting on a park bench, the black guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and genie comes out and says "thank you so much for freeing me! Ill give you each any wish you want!" The black guy says "I want me and my African brothers all to be in peace back in...

toothbrush origin

I suspect that the toothbrush was invented in the south,if it had been invented in the north, it would have been called a teethbrush

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friendship...

A true friend is like a penis, he stands up for you in times of need. A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times. A faithful friend is like a condom, he protects you from all harm. A loving friend is like a vagina, she accomodates you fully despite the size of your problem.
...

I recently saw a Broadway production about the origin of language

It was just a play on words

Every time a new Pope is elected...

...there are a lot of rituals in accordance with tradition. Well, there is one tradition that very few people know about. Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a velv...

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Si...

Every president has a secret service codename.

The current president is “Mogul”. I looked it up.
Mogul: a member of the Muslim dynasty of Mongol origin
Nope, that can’t be it, unless he’s a total self-hater. Try alternate definition:
Mogul: In downhill skiing, an ice-cold lump; an extremely dense obstacle to human progress, a destabil...

So, I hit a rooster on my way to work yesterday...

So, I hit a rooster on my way to work yesterday while it was crossing the road, I tried to stop for it but I didn't have enough time, anyway while i was reflecting back on it today I came to a profound realization. I realized the true origins of a joke that has been going over my head for 26 years, ...

Milk, cheese and yogurt may be different products

But their origins are udderly similar.

The leaders of Russia, North Korea and the United States fly up to the international space station...

Upon their arrival, they all marvel at the view of the earth from such magnificent heights. They begin to toss around ideas of ways they could all benefit from the ISS.

The Russian leader talks about all of the opportunities to use imaging to spy on people from outerspace. The other leaders ...

Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one...

...And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

So a White man and a Mexican man go to take an Aeronautics exam together...

In the lobby after the test, the White man says to the Mexican man,

"What did you put for your country of origin? I put the United States."

The Mexican man replied,

"N/A ese."

A doctor and nurse were having an affair

A doctor and nurse were having an affair, and the nurse got pregnant. Being a little large, and not very bright, she didn't realize she was pregnant until she was very far along. In a panic she went to the doctor and said, "What should we do?"
The doctor came up with a brilliant plan. A priest ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The end is nye

Fun fact; you know the saying The end is nigh? Well the latin origin of the word nigh use to be spelt: n y e.

Another fun fact; nye can be an abbreviation of New Year Eve.

Anyways what's your guys' new year's resolution? Mine is to stop making shit up for small talk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American goes on a vacation to Mexico.

After his day’s sight-seeing, he stops at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he notices a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only it looked good, but the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “What was that you just served the gentleman at the next...

Little Johnny ;-)

Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.

“Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have the Monday off.” said the...

A professor told his class: " Fame will come to you only after you succeed!" A blonde asked ..

**"Who is 'Sid' ?"**

(not my own, unknown origin)

Do you know why it's called politics?

Poli, Greek origin meaning multiple or many.

Tics, blood sucking animals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

... and asks the bartender for a Jack and Coke. The bartender hands him an apple. The man, looking confused, asks, "What's this?" The bartender replies, "Take a bite out of the apple." The man does and surprised, he says, "Wow, this tastes like Jack Daniels!" The bartender says, "Now turn it around....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara [NSFW]

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara on a camel. On the third day, the camel dies with little warning. As they dust themselves off, the nun and priest appraise their situation. After a long silence, the priest states:
'Well, sister, this looks to be pretty serious.'
'I know, father. As a...

Tomato

Not sure if this translates well from my Albanian origins

So their was a farmer woman and she is tending her crops and notices her tomatoes are brown and rotten. She looks over to her neighbors and they were bright red and juicy.

So one day she sees her neighbor and asks him.

“H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly woman enters the Canadian National Bank with a bag full of money

She insisted she wanted to speak with the president of the National Bank in order to open an account, saying "a lot of money" was to be dealt with.

After some hesitation, the staff escorted the elderly woman to the president's office. The president asked how much money she wished to deposit i...

Vladimir Putin Travels to an Eastern European Country

He walks up to the customs agent and the agent asks, “Name?”

“Vladimir Putin”

“Country of Origin?”

“Russia”

“Occupation?”

“No, no. Just visiting.”

The Grim Reaper

A woman was sleeping at home with her lover, she suddenly hears her husband knocking on the door, so she immediately makes a prayer "God, please hide my lover and take whatever you want from me." The grim reaper shows up infront of her and says "I will grant your wish, but only on one condition, aft...

The Tates Watch Company

Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses.



The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. ...

One day, a farmer found a strange, ancient-looking stone in his field.

Inscribed into it were characters of an apparent forgotten alphabet. Images of priests in strange clothing conducting some bizarre ritual had been carved into the surface as well.



Not knowing whether his find was worth a fortune (and curious to know what was said on the tablet), the ...

So a water bottle waddles into a furniture store...

before long a sales person notices and goes to greet it. "Can I help you find anything?"
"Well, I'm in need of a new couch. I spilled all over it and its ruined." the bottle crinkled out.
"Well you look like one of our VIP customers let me show you a couch you deserve."
They approached...

An aristocrat Bostonian lady hired a new chauffeur. As they started out on their first drive, she inquired:

"What is your name?"

"Thomas, ma'am," he answered.

"What is your last name," she said. "I never call chauffeurs by their first names."

"Darling, ma'am," he replied.

"Drive on - Thomas," she said.

(Rapp, Albert 1951. On the Origins of Wit and Humor. New York: Dutton...

A brunette and a blonde visit a motel

Before they go in, brunette warns her friend "Don't fill in your own address. Pick some European country. They won't know the difference.".

In the form brunette states her country of origin as "Hungary" while the blonde, trying to remain inconspicuous, writes "Thirsty".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by.

He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smil...

Covert Russian Cameras Discovered In High Profile US Officials' Restroom Facilities

The cameras were disassembled, and found to be of Russian origin. Upon further investigation, they are found to be part of a Russian espionage/blackmail program, codenamed 'Operation VCUP'.

Spelling bee

A Nebraska Huskers fan was in the finals of the state spelling bee.


"Okay, your word is 'farm,'" the moderator said to the Husker.


He sat there for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. "Um... Can I have a definition?"


"Sure," the moderator said. "It is a...

It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution

You're just comparing apples and origins

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.


Edit (back story): the origin of this joke came from a road trip back when I was in highschool (about 17 years ago). My buddy left the car door open and the dash displayed "the door is ajar". He thought it was funny, since we're use to seeing the "door open" icon and woul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the Doctor

A man goes to the doctor with a severe speech disorder, determined to discover it's origins.

After many, many tests the doctor comes in with a solemn look on his face.

"werp ducktor, waths da calls of my Airelments?!" The man asked.

The doctor replied. "It appears that your spe...

A mummy was found in Egypt.

The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet adviser offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet adviser appeared and said, "His name was Amenkhotep 23 rd."
"How did you find out?"
"He confessed," the advisor said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

CAR PARK SCAM: BEWARE!

Please BE WARNED! Over the last month I have become a victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam whilst out shopping.

Here's how the scam works:

Two very good-looking 20-21 year-old girls of eastern European origin come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why these two fingers?

For my cake day, I present /r/jokes with a favorite of mine, told to me by my uncle during a cousin's wedding. I make no claims as to its origin, nor to the relative awesomeness of my family:

Uncle: "Hey, got a joke for ya. *(holds out first and middle fingers)* Why should a woman always ...

Back in 1996, Afghanistan was very different.

You see, the only numerical system that Afghanistan used was the tally mark system. That meant that Afghans only counted things in tally marks. This was quite problematic because many people didn't know how to use tally marks correctly. Many mistakes were made and there was generally a lot of confus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old lady enters the National Bank's building...

...with a bag full of bank notes and asks to talk with the president of said bank. She says there's a lot of money to talk about, so the employees reluctantly allow the lady to meet with the president. When they meet, he asks the old lady how much money she wants to put in the bank.

"165,000 ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

East meets West

A guy pulls up to a bar and walks in to get a drink. Almost immediately, he is accosted by another guy who has obviously had one-to-many.
The drunk demonstrates a clumsy karate chop and says, "That was karate from China." The new arrival just nods noncommittally and attempts to sit at the bar. Un...

Someone else

Once upon a time there was a rich 80 year old man who had a smoking hot wife 50 years younger than him. So one day the old man was walking in the pavement and smiling. A friend of him saw the old man and asked why he is so happy, the old man answered " Im about to be a father! My wife is pregnant."<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA they decided to send it to President Obama. Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. He thought this would appear to be...

So I was shopping online for antique guns.....

and I got to the World War II section. I selected guns of French origin. They were all in mint condition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nuns see a naked man statue in the park!

So the man is about to have sex with his lady, he's naked and ready to go, when his lady says she has to have bubblegum. So he runs out butt-naked thru the park at night to the store, buys the gum, and is headed back thru the park when he sees three nuns coming. So he just stands on the side of the ...

One fine day, in the middle of the night...

*This is a humours verse I've known since I was a kid. I don't know where it came from, and my googling has failed me. If anyone else knows the origin, that would be great!*

One fine day, in the middle of the night,

Two dead men, got up to fight,

One lame man, rang up to call an...

One night the Pope is saying his bedtime prayers...

...when God Himself comes down from heaven to listen to them. Then, sitting on the Pope's bed, He says, "Listen, you've been such a good Pope and devoted follower that I'm going to grant any wish you'd like."
The Pope is overcome with emotion, and for a little while he can't think of anythin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock and Watson go camping... (reposted from the intelligent jokes thread)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping in the woods one night during an investigation. As they lay out under the stars, Holmes asks Dr. Watson a question...

"Watson!" Holmes said imperiously. "Look at the stars and tell me what you can deduce." Watson sighed, recognizing one of Holmes' fr...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.