I bought a bunch of shares of Old McDonald's farm.

I'm now the
#C-I-E-I-O

I was feeling lonely, so I bought some stock shares.

It's nice to have a bit of company.

When someone forcibly makes you buy shares in their company, but you begin to sympathise with them

Would that be called stockholder syndrome?

I called Robinhood customer support to ask what I should do with my GME shares.

They said: “PLEASE HOLD.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy dines alone…

A guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table. He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward...

Ever since I bought $GME shares, my wife won’t stop boiling chickens.

She likes the stock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.

She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people, shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

Everyone knows that venison is deer meat

Few know of Vanison, which is what happens when your deer is hit by a van...

and still fewer know about Vennison which shares qualities with both.

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