You don't need an Ancestry DNA kit to find out who your relatives are.

Just tell everyone that you've won the lottery.

A frog did one of those ancestry tests.

She found out she was a little English, a little French and a tad Pole.

A St. Patrick's day joke based on my Irish ancestry

One evening an Irish man walks out of a bar ...

>!That's the whole joke, the joke being two fold: an Irish man wouldn't leave a bar in the evening at all, and when an Irish man leaves a bar, he doesn't 'walk' out; he either staggers or is carried out!<

Took an ancestry test and found out I’m 50% Jewish.

But I talked them down to 40.

I got my ancestry results back and I'm part Welsh and Hungarian.

I am well hung

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

Why do rednecks hate Ancestry.com?

They can't swipe right or left.

Two European frogs discuss their ancestry

"So, are you a complete french frog?"

"No. I'm a tad-pole."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ancestry DNA test shows 10% African, 20% Mexican, 40% Cuban, 5% Chinese...

Mom, what this even mean?

-Mom "a fucking great party"

"I need help with a crossword," I told my wife. "Six letters, a group of people with common ancestry."

She said, "Tribal."


I said, "No, that's only four letters."

I have both Irish and Scottish ancestry

I love to drink, but hate to pay for it.

(Joke Credit: Johnny Cunningham via Kevin Burke).

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

Native American name - a true story

25 years ago, I worked with a guy named Kee Smith (last name changed here... this is really a real story). Kee was sort of a crunchy granola type of European ancestry. Eventually, he told the story about his unusual name.

He said he was born on a reservation, and he was placed in a bassinet...

So, the baby frog finally got his Ancestry.com results in...

It turns out he is a tad Polish.

Ancestry.com

Alabama’s #1 dating website.

You might be a redneck if...

You keep swiping right on your Ancestry DNA matches

What do you call someone with no German ancestry?

Guten free.

I used to think I was descended from the Irish but thanks to a search on Ancestry.com…

…it turns out I'm just a drunk…

What do you call a person with native american ancestry and alopecia?

apache

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Asian guy and black guy at the lake of ancestry

This black guy was walking by a lake. Sitting next to the lake was an old Chinese guy skipping stones off the water.

The black guy walks up and says "Hey man, what are you doing"?

The Chinese man says "Check this out! Skip a rock across the lake and it will tell you your ancestry."...

Once there was a foster kid named Jumprope

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

[Long] They were twins, a guy, Ving, and a girl, Ling. Both very good friends of mine.

One day, Ving asks if I would do him a favour. I said, “Sure”. He asks me to drive him to the city hall after work. He says he wants to change his name to something more American.

I agreed. So after work I'm driving Ling and Ving to the city hall, and I see Ling is giving Ving the cold should...

What is a white supremacists favorite dating app?

Ancestry dot com

I'm 1/16th Cherokee...

Not by ancestry, but because I got into a terrible accident in my Jeep and the doctors were unable to remove all the shrapnel.

What is Josh Duggar's second favorite dating website after Ashley-Madison?

Ancestry.com

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A motorcycle cop stops

a driver for running a red light. The driver
is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer,
demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!


So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist
instantly goes on a tirade,...

A white nationalist walks into a bar.

He sits sullenly at the bar amidst a sea of minorities and sighs heavily. The bartender comes around and asks what he can get for him.

The white nationalist replies: "Can I get a country where I can live among people from my own ancestry? It is like this nation isn't even mine anymore. We ...

My buddy

You ever have one of those friends that are just OBSESSED with Star Wars? Yeah, me too. Tim Lehey is his name. Number of years he went to a -con where he met this girl Carol Hu. Now, Carol was a friggin Star Wars nut herself. They'd go on and on about how Lucas was so great and...blah blah blah... ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not russian to the punch line on this one.

Three friends, Vick, Tom, and John, are having a discussion on ancestry.

Vick says, "I just found out my great great grandfather was part of a Democratic party in Russia in the early 1900s, and helped form an alliance with the Jewish Bund."

Tom says, "Bolshevik?"

Vick replies, "...

How do dating sites in Alabama save money?

They link to Ancestry.com

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