Ancestry Jokes

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

And frankly, I don’t care about where I’m from. I just want to know who I’m allowed to make fun of

So I just announced that I had won the lottery. I soon found out to all my relatives are.

Through a Incestry DNA.

They sent me back a pack of Seeds, and suggested that I just start Over..

This St. Patrick’s Day, we’re going to celebrate in the traditional way:

I’m not going to let her eat.

(Hell yeah, potato famine joke)

They can't swipe right or left.

She found out she was a little English, a little French and a tad Pole.

"So, are you a complete french frog?"

"No. I'm a tad-pole."

But I talked them down to 40.

Alabama’s #1 dating website.

I love to drink, but hate to pay for it.

(Joke Credit: Johnny Cunningham via Kevin Burke).

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town... read more

I am well hung

One evening an Irish man walks out of a bar ...

>!That's the whole joke, the joke being two fold: an Irish man wouldn't leave a bar in the evening at all, and when an Irish man leaves a bar, he doesn't 'walk' out; he either staggers or is carried out!<

It turns out he is a tad Polish.

Guten free.

She said, "Tribal."


I said, "No, that's only four letters."

apache

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

One day, Ving asks if I would do him a favour. I said, “Sure”. He asks me to drive him to the city hall after work. He says he wants to change his name to something more American.

I agreed. So after work I'm driving Ling and Ving to the city hall, and I see Ling is giving Ving the cold should... read more

Ancestry.com

Not by ancestry, but because I got into a terrible accident in my Jeep and the doctors were unable to remove all the shrapnel.

Turns out my DNA ancestry results came back 100% Nigerian and I’ve been neglecting my royal prince cousin for years

You keep swiping right on your Ancestry DNA matches

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

25 years ago, I worked with a guy named Kee Smith (last name changed here... this is really a real story). Kee was sort of a crunchy granola type of European ancestry. Eventually, he told the story about his unusual name.

He said he was born on a reservation, and he was placed in a bassinet... read more

You ever have one of those friends that are just OBSESSED with Star Wars? Yeah, me too. Tim Lehey is his name. Number of years he went to a -con where he met this girl Carol Hu. Now, Carol was a friggin Star Wars nut herself. They'd go on and on about how Lucas was so great and...blah blah blah... ... read more

They link to Ancestry.com

He sits sullenly at the bar amidst a sea of minorities and sighs heavily. The bartender comes around and asks what he can get for him.

The white nationalist replies: "Can I get a country where I can live among people from my own ancestry? It is like this nation isn't even mine anymore. We ... read more