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Sticky Jokes

I need to get a new chess set because all my pawns are damaged and sticky.

I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.

I was born male, I identify as male, but according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding....

I'm a family of four.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats Long Brown and Sticky?

I forgot the punchline, Shit,

For my birthday, the only thing I got was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find that very hard to deal with.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

What’s brown and sticky?

My boomerang that won’t come back.

What’s brown and sticky?

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

What’s pink and slippery?

A pink slipper.

What’s brown and runny?

Usain Bolt.

What brown and sticky?

Johnny Depps bed!

Someone asked this joke today in zone chat on an online game I play called ESO online. The usual answer is 'a stick'. The person who asked really liked my new answer.

A sperm was undergoing training for conception

His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?'

The sperm nodded. Days later, th...

What do you call a sticky guitar?

A-gloustic

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A sticky situation

A woman was feeling unwell and went to the doctor. Being profoundly deaf she brought her husband along as an interpreter.
The doctor said " I think that you'll be fine but to be on the safe side I will run a few tests...I'll need urine stool and blood samples and I'll take a vaginal swab "...

What's brown and sticky on the inside, brown and sticky on the outside?

Any open jar of Marmite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."

She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"

I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got thrown out of math class today.

The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"

Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...


EDIT: Holy, this blew up fast. Kind of like when the teacher gives me $20, but less sticky, ...

Why was the floor of the fireplace sticky on Christmas morning?

Because Santa Claus came down the chimney on Christmas Eve.

Three guys are sharing a bed at a sleepover

When they wake up, the first guy says, "I had a wierd dream, I dreamt that someone beat my meat."


The guy on the left says, "Me too!"


The guy in the middle goes: "That's funny, I dreamt that I was skiing, but the snow was hot and sticky!"

What do you call a thick, sticky liquid that also can’t play bass guitar?

SID VISCOUS!

A sticky encounter

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: "Can I see your dad?" Johnny: "No, he's in the shower." Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?" Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too." Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?" Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked ...

What goes in mouth dry and hard and come out soft and sticky?

Chewing gum

What is brown and sticky?

The prime minister of Ukraine's nose

What is brown, sticky, and walks through the desert?

A caramel.

What's sticky and charming?

Seduct tape

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool"

Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

Why are millionaires sticky?

Because they're rolling in dough.

What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes?

Slow natives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sticky situation

One day, a horse and a rabbit were playing on a farm, when all of a sudden, the horse gets stuck in a giant puddle of mud. Frantically looking for help, the rabbit decides to get the farmer's Mercedes, tie a rope around the horse, and pull him out. Finally, after an hour or so, the rabbit manages to...

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