Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycomb

I was born male and I identify as male, yet...

... according to Tesco's Finest Sticky Toffee Pudding, I'm a family of four!

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You and 2 friends of yours walk through a forest

after a while you lot stumble upon a hut, from which a weird old lady, resembling a witch, comes out from. She slowly says
*"...do not step on the purple flower..."*
and then goes back into her hut.

A little confused, you exchange looks with your friends, shrug, and keep walking.
...

What's brown and sticky on the inside, brown and sticky on the outside?

Any open jar of Marmite.

I need to get a new chess set because all my pawns are damaged and sticky.

I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.

What is hard and dry when it goes into your mouth, but is soft and sticky when it comes out.

Chewing gum, but i like the way reddit thinks.

All I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I’m having a hard time dealing with this.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”

Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd grade, too!”
Ms. Brooks finally had enough; she took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the situa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Princip...

What property is always true of the popsicle stick, whether or not it has ice cream on it?

It's always a little sticky.

My obese Ex-wife, Ally, worked in a Californian grenade factory. She got struck by a grenade during her lunch break while covered in sticky urine.

Supper Cali frag a lick stick ex pee Ally dough sus

What is brown and sticky?

The prime minister of Ukraine's nose

Two Native Americans were out hunting.

One of them kneeled down and put the side of his ear on the ground, after a few moments he sits up and says "Buffalo come."

His friend is impressed and asks "How do you know?"

The other answered. "Sticky ear."

I was walking in the park today and I stepped on something brown and sticky. What was it?

A stick

A man is in peril, he’s just robbed a cheese shop...

And the police are closing in. From his pockets, he dumps all the Gruyere, all of the Cotswald, all of the Petit Basque. As he flees, chunks of Manchego and Ossau Iraty fly from his pockets... he flings the Roquefort, but it breaks up in his pocket and is sticky... he can’t get it out. He is stuck, ...

[Serious] We should have joke explanations stickied in the comments.

I know explaining the joke “ruins” the joke, but in text format I think this could work. No one is forced to read the stickied comment explaining it and most people read the joke before looking at the comments section. There are so many people including myself who say “IDGI” or “OOTL” in the comment...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

What’s green, sticky and smells of bacon.

Kermits fingers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."

She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"

I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?"

A wise man once said

A man is like a spider when he gets on the web his hands get sticky

What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?

Just turn off sticky keys

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool"

Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s brown and sticky?

Reposts.

Nothing like selling an old man your selfies in skin tight outfits, covering strangers with your sticky white goo, and taking compromising photos when they’re vulnerable.

I sure loved the old Spiderman movies.

stolen from comments of r/showerthoughts

A sticky encounter

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: "Can I see your dad?" Johnny: "No, he's in the shower." Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?" Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too." Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?" Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked ...

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What's pink and slippery?

Pink slippers


What's brown and runny?

Usain bolt

How come dogs can't throw sticks very far?

Because they're sticky.

Started a new job as a delivery man today

When I got to my first address there was a little sticky note left on the door saying, "Dear Mr delivery man, we're out, please hide in the garage."




That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me...

I took my date to the party...

...but after a couple of hours in my pocket is was all sticky and covered in fluff

What's the difference between a piano , tuna and sticky glue?

you can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna

I read the directions to get a sticky residue off a window, it told me to try alcohol

So I drank a 5th of scotch and the damn thing is still on the window

I told my GF that I had ,been diagnosed with sticky sperm syndrome.

She said that'd be hard to swallow.

What is sweet and sticky and crosses the desert?

A caramel

What do you about family members with sticky fingers?

You wash your hands of them.

A walruses car broke down.

While waiting for the mechanic to troubleshoot the problem he decided to walk to the ice cream parlor. He ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and ate it while walking back to the car shop. As he finished the last bite he realized he forgot to grab a napkin. As he desperately tried to clean his very sti...

Why are millionaires sticky?

Because they're rolling in dough.

What do you call a loyalist in the 1760s who had black sticky stuff thrown on them for a second time?

Re-tarred

What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes?

Slow natives.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses.

Tonto stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground.

He looks up at the Lone Ranger and says, "Buffalo come".

The Lone Ranger asks, "How do you know that?" Tonto replies, "Ear sticky."

What's sticky and charming?

Seduct tape

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