I developed a new crunchy snack made out of duck bills.

I call them Quackers.

What's fast, loud and crunchy ?

A rocket chip

Native American name - a true story

25 years ago, I worked with a guy named Kee Smith (last name changed here... this is really a real story). Kee was sort of a crunchy granola type of European ancestry. Eventually, he told the story about his unusual name.

He said he was born on a reservation, and he was placed in a bassinet...

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A man was found dead with his penis in a jar of crunchy peanut butter

He was fucking nuts

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In the groove

A man walks into a restaurant and he's pissed off for some reason. The waiter comes up to him and says "May I take your your order."

The man looked at the waiter and screaming says "I want you to get in there and tell the chef, I want a cheese burger not too greasy and not too dry but right ...

What's curvy, crunchy, and caws?

A Pringull.

What's crunchy on the outside and airy in the inside?

A lightbulb.

A drunk man at the carnival...

A horribly drunk man stumbled up to a carnival game booth and sloppily picked up the air rifle. On his very first shot he knocked the target down, much to the game operator's astonishment.

"Wow, sir that was amazing," said the operator as he handed the drunkard a live turtle. "You'll be going...

V1. What do you call snacks with people you like?

Friend chips.

Open to edits and suggestions. My daughter helped with the crunchy part of the joke.

Apparently I wasn’t worthy of posting it to r/dadjokes because of my lack of commenting on other people’s posts to build up my street cred. Apparently up voting things isn’t enough.

What does pure gold taste like?

Crunchy. Because it is comprised of 24 carrots.

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69

She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

Polar bear: Don't you just love these little igloo snacks...

Crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside.

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Once there were 3 people in an airplane.

One took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane.

The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane.

Then the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too ...

A woman goes to a pet shop...

To buy a pet to make up for her husband ignoring her for sports. Shopkeep suggests a parrot named Crunchy.

She asked "Why Crunchy?"

He says because Crunchy has a special ability. He puts Crunchy in his cage on the counter and opens the cage and says "Crunchy, the cage".

I'm seco...

There were three guys on a plane. One bit into an apple, thought it was too...

There were three guys on a plane. One bit into an apple, thought it was too sweet. He threw it out the window. The second guy bit into a lemon, thought it was too sour, threw it out the window. The third guy bit into a grenade, thought it was too crunchy and threw it out the window.
When the plan...

A girl reaches out to me on Tinder and asks "If you could be any type of taco, what would would you be, and why?"

I reply "I would be a Taco Bell crunchy taco so that eleven of my friends and I could come inside one box."

If you burn a cookie in the shape of a Star Wars character...

...is it crunchy or Chewie?

A groaner for you all...

A rabbit hops its way into a trendy cafe in Melbourne.

It says to the nonplussed waiter, "I've munched my way from Sydney to here and I'd like something different to eat."

"What would you like?" asks the waiter.

"A leaf of fresh lettuce between two pieces of toasted white bread,...

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A man walks into a backwoods bar in Kentucky and orders a cosmopolitan.

A man walks into a backwoods bar in Kentucky and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks the man over and says, “Not from ’round here, are ya?” “No” replies the man, “I’m from Providence, Rhode Island.” The bartender looks at him and says, “Well what do ya do in Providence?” “I’m a taxidermist,” ...

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