UPJOKE
adhesivestickymucilaginousglutinouspastyviscousglueyviscidtoothedcreamymisshapengooeygummi bearchewygummed

Gummy Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

My 8 year old daughter told me this joke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is my absolute favorite "so bad it's good" joke

A man went to the doctor with a horrible itch in his ass. After an examination, the doctor gave him his diagnosis:

\- You have an enormous tapeworm in there. This is not a matter of normal treatment, so my advice to you is to insert a boiled egg in your anus followed by a gummy bear. Call me ...

Gummi Worms

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I picked up a bag of gummy worms today. I've got to say I don't really understand their marketing strategy. The bag says 'no artificial flavors.'" the guy says. "I'm just curious who buys a bag of gummy worms hoping they taste as close to real worms as poss...

The weed gummy maker knew it was bound to happen, however it truly was a spectacle for him to see things finally going wrong. The gummies came out hard as a rock and tasted horrible. Unfortunately it was too late for him to make changes to this batch.

He made the inevitable incredible inedible un-editable edible

What do you call a weed gummy

A High-chew

How did the gummy bear lose his leg?

He lost it in nom.

What does a gummy bear say when you kick him in the groin?

"Maynards"

Did you hear about the gummy bear with only one leg?

He lost the other one in Nom.

<all credit to my daughter>

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears..

People just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist goes into a kindergarten classroom...

A scientist goes into a kindergarten classroom to conduct an experiment. The experiment involves the kids eating gummy bears and judging by the color and taste, the kids will shout out the flavor.

The scientist gives them a red gummy bear and the kids can instantly tell that it’s strawberry....

Which animal has the softest bite?

“Gummy” bears

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear (yes i know my sense of humour is great)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a large bearded homosexual man with no teeth, who enjoys giving blowjobs?

A gummy bear.

I’m tired of people saying bears are like humans and that’s why you should care about the polar icecaps melting.

If bears were like humans they would be fine. The polar bears would steal land from the grizzly bears, have all the panda bears build them railroads. Send all the koala bears to Australia, all the gummy bears to San Francisco they’ll be fine. They’re start a country called Bearica and have a half bl...

A while ago, I thought I was going insane...

...until the the unicorn and the gummy bear told me I was just fine.

I feel much better now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid walks in on his grandpa smoking a cigar.

Kid says "grandpa, can I have a cigar too?"

Grandpa asks "can your dick touch your asshole?

Kid says no so grandpa says "sorry, you're not old enough."

Week later kid sees grandpa drinking a beer and asks "can I drink a beer with you?

Grandpa replies "can your dick tou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little boy and his dad went fishing

The dad pulls out a bag of gummy bears.

The little boy asks "Can I have some?"

The dad replies "Can your dick touch your asshole?"

The little boy says "No it can't"

The dad says "Then sorry these are mine"

20 minutes later the boy pulls out a bag of potato chips...

What do you call a baby cub before it starts teething?

A gummy bear

My wife said I needed to grow up

I was speechless



It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth

my brother just called me (11pm) with a joke so funny he was still laughing

**what is a bear without teeth?**

**answer: a gummy bear**

since he made it up all by himself, i informed him that i could no longer publicly claim him as my brother. he understood completely.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a bear without teeth?

A gummy bear.

I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes.

How do you catch a Swedish fish?

With a gummy worm as bait

The longest joke in the world

From: http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.