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Pasty Jokes

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Two nuns are driving through Transylvania one night...

...when suddenly a vampire jumps onto the front of the car and starts screeching at them.

The head nun swerves back and forth, trying to shake off the vampire, but he is too strong.

Looking at the crucifix around her partner's neck, the head nun has an idea. She says to the other nun, ...

I found my first grey pube today...

Usually I wouldn't mind, but it was in my greggs pasty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two strangers discussing religion

So, a woman sits beside a sharply dressed man in a flight to Tokyo.

Having a lot of time to kill, the man initiates a conversation with the woman, asking her about her religion and how God created the universe, etc.

"Well, first I’ve got a question for you", said the woman.

"Cow...

Three blondes are hiking in Scotland

They set out early afternoon on a sunny Thursday morning in the middle of July. The three girls are kitted out with the best equipment that money can buy and have got their route from Stirling to Callander planned perfectly. After an hour or so of walking one of the blondes comes across some tracks ...

On a recent evening a man came up to me at the front desk of my library. He was carrying a large plank of plywood.

On the plywood were copious amounts of what appeared to be a flour and water mix. He might have put yeast in it to make it airier and lighter. He had shaped the mixture into a kind of giant map. There was something I took to be divisions for states, or provinces. He'd created a facsimile of a capito...
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