Moist Jokes - 35 Hilarious Moist Jokes

The moist finger

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, at first encountering resistance but then plunging in, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.

I took my finger back out and within seconds, before I knew it, she was going down on me.

And I thought to myself..... "I really ...

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I started carrying a moist towelette in my wallet instead of a condom.

I run into chicken wings more often that I do .

What is about 6 inches long, hard, hairy at the base and is pushed into a moist opening where it is quickly moved back and forth?

A toothbrush

What's pink, moist and smells fishy?

Salmon.

What is both delicious and moist?

.
.
.
.
.
.
A lie!

The last time I made a chick moist....

was a water balloon fight in 4th grade.

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So we're telling our grandfathers jokes? Alright then.

My grandfather was a doctor, so he had some fun ones. This was one of his favorite:

A boy was born mostly healthy, but with a strange mutation that left him with no left eyelid. The doctors were a bit stunned at first, but called in a plastic surgeon to consult. They needed to figure out a wa...

Moist people won’t get this joke...

Reddit hates typos.

The word Moist is only great at describing two things, cake...

And your Mom

Why are tornadoes always named after women?

Because when the tornadoes arrive they are warm and moist but when they leave, you only have half a house, no car, and your entire life lies in ruins.

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What are sometimes moist, smells bad and requires going down to get in it?

Basements.

What do you call a wet baby owl?

A moist owlette.

What do you call a calf in the rain?

*A moist cowlette!*

I am the difference between...

Most women and moist women.

What do you call a lotion that makes your eyes wet

Moist-your-eyes

How do keep your eyes from being dry?

You moist your eyes.

To stop kids from doing drugs, they should give the drugs less cool names.

If Ecstasy was called moist curdle, I can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it!

Did you hear about KFC's Easter promo, a free baby bird with purchase?

A moist owlet with every meal!

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were having a conversation.

Sherlock turned to Watson. "Observe the stars above us and the grass below us, what can you deduce? You know my methods."

Watson thought carefully. "From the position of the stars, i can deduce our approximate location, as well as the month. The grass is moist, so it has obviously rained rece...

Bea was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all...

Well, her pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlour.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut crystal bowl sitting on top of ...

I saw a baby owl caught in the rain.

It was a moist owlet.

What do you think Trudeau will be remembered for.....

moistly?

What do you call a hand cream that makes you cry?

A moist-your-eyes-er

I don't like damp things

For the moist part

I have an idea for a brand of eye-drops.

I’ll call it moist-your-eyes.

If you ever see an baby owl in a toilet don't flush...

Because you aren't supposed to flush moist owelettes.

What do you call a heifer in a pond?

A moist cow-lette

Did you know, the cave where Jesus was resurrected...

contained a large quantity of hydrating body lotion? He was moist-jew-rising.

Sherlock Holmes and his trusty associate Dr. John Watson are strolling leisurely through London's botanical gardens. (OC)

They are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a botanist who specialized in arboreal citrus.

Watson squints, focusing his gaze on something across the gardens. He gasps in surprise and grabs Sherlock's arm. He points at the thing that has captivated his attention and asks "Sherlock, ...

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What am I?

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally ...

Naughty Things You Can Say On Thankgiving

1. That's a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

3. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in!

4. How long will it take after you stick it in?

5. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

6. I'm in the mood for some dark meat.
...

Doctor's advice.

*I was reminded of this joke yesterday (don't ask why!). If this is a repost, then I at reddit search.*

A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter
brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the
customer decides to let it go.

"Would you l...

A guy's looking through the job vacancy ads...

...times are tough and there's not much about.

He comes across a job at the local zoo..."help wanted"... He doesn't have any experience but he decides to give it a shot.

He gets to the interview and the zoo keeper says..." look mate I'll level with you. I've promised the directors I...

Once upon a time a small boy named Hameed was living in a tiny primitive Moroccan Village & was a and all his classmates hated him for his stupid acts.

His teacher Aisha was always yelling at him.. "you are driving me crazy Hameed".. One day Hameed's mother went to check out how Hameed was doing at school and the teacher Aisha told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks and she had never seen such a dumb boy in her ...

The cowboy and his very smart horse (kinda long)

A cowboy is kidnapped by bandits. After taking him back to their hideout, they tell him that they're going to execute him at noon tomorrow. Now, these bandits seem to be pretty nice guys who just happen to be in a nasty line of work, and they ask the cowboy if he has any last requests before he dies...

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