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Brittle Jokes

What do you call a firm, brittle, dry rodent that also happens to be an actor.

crisp rat

My brother said his pasta tasted weak and brittle.

It seems to have a bad case of sauceteoporosis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When the Romans Conquered Britain

In the mid 1st century CE one of the problems they did not anticipate was the rampant fraud being conducted in the bronze trade. Tradesmen who shaped the metal would buy it from merchants who bought it from the miners in the form of bars of bronze, already mixed from copper and tin.

The...

At 70, she still had a body like an hourglass

Brittle and full of sand

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

Damn it, guys, stop the sticks and stones fight I have brittle bone disease...

The Rich Old Man

A rich, brittle, 90 year old man walks into the doctors office for his usual check up. He sits down and waits until the doctor finally comes in:

Doc: Hows it goin fred?

Old Man: Good doc, but I gotta tell ya, something amazing has happened!

Doc: What that Fred?

Old man: W...

Gandhi, as you know, would walk barefoot everywhere...

...and as a result he developed these massive callouses on his feet. He would also fast, from time to time. Because of this lack of food his bones became extremely brittle. It would also give him hallucinations from time to time. Finally, Gandhi never really had the time to clean his teeth and he be...

My friend brought his wife into the pub and he asked me if i thought she was beautiful.

I said 'She's lovely, a great match for you. Got cracking legs matey'

he said: 'Thanks, that's her brittle bone syndrome'

Have you heard about Gandhi?

Gandhi walked around a bunch and built up giant callouses on the bottoms of his feet. He fasted a bunch which gave his bones a rather fragile brittle nature. He was a spiritual man, a mystic to many people. And he had a strange diet of green tea and white rice which gave him constant bad breath. ...

Chocolate chip cookies!

Joe Briscolli, a retired family man with terminal cancer is lying in his deathbed when he smells the aroma of his beloved wife's locally famous chocolate chip cookies, which she knew he loved more than anything on earth. "Oh, my loving and kind wife, in my final days you comfort me stalwartly. You a...

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

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