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Gooey Jokes

A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender ...

What's White & Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky?

The coming of the Lord.

A young boy goes and visits his grandfather for a few days

During the first meal the boy says to his grandfather: "Are these plates clean? They feel kind of gooey."



"They are as clean as coldwater gets them." The grandfather replies.



During the next meal the young boy notices the same thing again and asks "Are these plates cl...

Sneezing girl

I was in my 4th grade glass sitting next to this girl, all of a sudden she produces a loud sneeze.

**ACHOOOOOO**

The whole class was silent, the teacher quietly asked if she needed a tissue

My friend notices a gooey substance dripping from her hand.

*Friend:* **Ewww are t...

Joe walks into a bar...

...when he comes inside he sees Billy sitting by the bar wearing a huge watch, which is way to big to be comfortable.

Joe walks up to him and says "hey Billy, where the hell did you get that watch?"

Billy points into the corner and says "do you see the old man sitting in the corner th...

We were at Kyle's place last week and had an idea

You know how everyone has occasionally had the great idea to try and snort assorted things? Like pixie stix and rock candy? That's where this story takes place.

Somehow the topic of conversation wandered to the effects of cocaine and other substances on the nostrils. The attention seeker of t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy visits his grandparents, and is sitting on the front porch with his grandfather.

Soon Grandma comes out and gives Grandpa a cigar. He lights up while the boy watches, and the boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Rather than answering, the man snaps, "Does your touch your ?" The boy thinks about this, then shakes his head no. "Of course not, because you're a l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The List (from the office fax machine 30 or so years ago)

**THE LIST**

GHOST :

You know you've . There's on the toilet paper, but there is no in the toilet.

TEFLON COATED :

Comes out so slick, clean & easy you didn't even feel it. No traces of on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toile...
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