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You remember those yardsticks?

They don't make them any longer.

I had to use a yardstick to stop a bomb explosion...

Drastic times call for drastic measures

I bought a cheap yardstick that can only be used flat on a table...

It really doesn't measure up.

What has three feet but no legs?

A yardstick.

Did I ever tell you guys about king yardstick?

He was a ruler

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