UPJOKE
satisfactoryfitunobjectionableunexceptionablestandardappropriatesuitabletolerableacceptanceacceptgoodreceivedunimpeachablebankablereasonable

Acceptable Jokes

When does it become socially acceptable for adults to build little hideouts out of pillows again?

When they’re in their forties

Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry?

Asking for my naan.

One night stand is only acceptable thru college

After that you should get a matching pair for the other side of the bed

We asked a group of scientists to study what's an acceptable amount of existential dread to experience.

Their response was, "It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think it’s totally acceptable to tell jokes about eating ass.

As long as they’re tongue-in-cheek.

Jokes about deaf people are NEVER acceptable.

Imagine how they’d feel if they heard those jokes about them?

New data has claimed that only 52% of students leave school with an acceptable grade in Maths.

Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?

Ass skin for a friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is this an acceptable excuse?

A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be turned in on time. He said there were only two acceptable excuses for late projects:
     1) A certifiable medical excuse.
     2) A death in the student's immediate family.


The...

When is a fart joke acceptable?

When it doesn't stink!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion.

Apparently “Fucking large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think "dildo" is an acceptable insult.

Like I'd call you a dick, but you're not real enough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."

The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.
The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way."
He explains to her why they are dam fish.
Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the da...

Me: “I don’t want to ever see you anymore! I won’t let you hurt me like this again! Abuse is never acceptable!”

Trainer: “”It was one sit-up. You had to do one sit-up.”

When is it acceptable for a nose to be in a salad?

When it’s a snowman’s nose!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said, “It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acc...

Which rapper is the most acceptable to Muslims?

Halal Cool J

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People told me fucking 3rd cousins is acceptable.

One more to go :D

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is religion like a penis?

Its perfectly acceptable to have one, you can even be proud of it, but its not the best idea to go waving it around in other peoples faces

...and you especially shouldn't shove it down the throats of children

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to think doing "the helicopter" in public was socially acceptable

But apparently, it's considered a dick move

Why is it when people demand proof of God’s existence. You have to have faith, is an acceptable religious defense?

But when people demand proof that God told me to kill those kids. You have to have faith, isn’t an acceptable legal defense?

I’m sick of double standards.

What's the Islamist term for acceptable internet humor?

Ha-lol.

What's the only acceptable filetype at The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning?

.docx

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.