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Spreadsheets Jokes

I'm giving up spreadsheets for forty days

Excellent.

Next year I'll give up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights...

It's going to be Excel Lent

You need to learn spreadsheets...

if you want to Excel in life.

What do humans and spreadsheets have in common?

They're all made of cells.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do 40 year old virgins type their spreadsheets?

Incels.

Boss: How good are you with spreadsheets?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word

Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.

What do you guys think of my idea to abstain from working with spreadsheets for 40 days before Easter?

Because personally, I think it's Excel Lent.

My family all makes fun of me for having a low-paying job filling in spreadsheets

But I like having a job where I can Excel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been making extra money on the side by creating erotic spreadsheets...

I don't feel great about it, but what can I say?

sExcels

The CEO of a company was in need of a secretary

He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there was a knock on his door. It was a dog. He had a newspaper in his mouth. He opened it to the classifieds page and pointed to the ad that the CEO had placed. The CEO was impressed. But he thought it was a joke, so he decided to test the dog:

...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets...

It's called Halo3.**ods**t

What's the difference between an Accountant and a Proctologist?

One stares at spreadsheets and the other stares at spread cheeks.

My friends asked me where they could get a decent coffee table and I said I could make one for them for $500. They were delighted and agreed to it. But when I eventually got it to them, they seemed really ungrateful.

I have no idea why, it was fantastic. It rated 100 different types of coffee from 1 -10 and was one of the best spreadsheets I’ve ever made.

Jesus and Satan were arguing about who was better with computers...

Jesus and Satan were arguing about who was better with computers, when they decided to see for sure by having a contest. Whoever could demonstrate greater skill, as judged by God, would be deemed the winner. So the two sat down at their computers and began typing, furiously creating spreadsheets, da...

Jesus and Satan's tech battle

One day, both Jesus and Satan got into an argument over who was better at computers. This debate lasted for so long that God decided to step in and declare a contest - each would compete against the other in a series of computer-related tasks to determine computer superiority once and for all. God w...

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