Which politician is the biggest supporter of statistical sciences?

Putin. He really loves the Poisson distribution.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The professor of statistics and logistics.

So a friend told me this joke. It was created by Norm MacDonald. Hopefully I don't butcher it. Also, I'm on mobile, so I apologize if it's weirdly formatted.

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A new guy moves into a cul de sac. One of the neighbors comes up to him and starts small talk.

"So what...

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Statistically, 1 out of 10 friends is gay.

I hope its Steve, he's really cute

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Sexual fetishes are getting seperate volume in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

There is now the a-DSM and the b-DSM.

The CDC is now recommending wearing TWO masks as a way to get a better seal around your nose and mouth.

It's also a good statistical approach to get the average American to wear ONE mask. (Sorry, that was a mean joke.)

Statistically speaking, the data I have collected indicates my dad jokes are quite funny...

I guess you can call it dada science...

Statistically speaking

6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy

Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?

Because it's a co-median ^_^

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Sherlock and Watson go camping

After a nice fire, roasting s'mores, and talking for a few hours, they finally crawl into their tent and go to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Sherlock shakes Watson awake. "Tell me Watson" he said "What can you deduce by looking at the stars?"

Watson, slightly puzzled, said "Well, ...

Statistically speaking

9/11 Americans won't appreciate this joke.

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Statistically, I have sex 86 times per year.

This is going to be an exciting week.

Did you know that, statistically, only one in seven dwarfs...

Is happy?

Statistically...

9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

Indian men are statistically the least likely to get laid

No wonder even their parents call them beta.

2 people I went to high school with recently got engaged...

...so statistically speaking one of those is gonna end in divorce

Some words sounding similar can be confusing. For example, Entropy and Atrophy.

Entropy is simply a measure of how much the energy of atoms and molecules become more spread out in a process and can be defined in terms of statistical probabilities, whereas Atrophy, is what you get if you win something.

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