I saw a man drive through my city with a van full of herbs and spices

He was a thyme traveler

Ordered some spices online a while back to enhance my roast chicken recipe, unfortunately due to the pandemic I was told the package would be delayed.

But today is the day, the thyme has finally come.

My girlfriend and I like to make containers for our herbs and spices

She didn’t like my cumin herb box though.

I switched the labels on all my wife's spices.

I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

On my weekends I've been inventing a machine that can distribute herbs and spices to any place at my dining table.

It's not much, but it passes the thyme.

Did you hear about the grocery store employee who poured a bunch of spices into his pockets?

They fired him for thyme theft

Lately I have been really busy and it's interfering with my hobby of collecting all of the different types of spices...

...I just don't have the thyme.

I prepared a surprise dinner for my GF to teach her about different kind of spices

She doesn't know what's cumin

Why is british food so bland?

They've been trading spices for centuries and we all know dealers don't use their product.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eighty-five year old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash and went to the Pearly Gates.

They had been in good health for the last ten years, mainly as a result of the wife's interest in healthy diets and exercise.

St. Peter welcomed them into Heaven and took them to their small palace in heaven- complete with a large bedroom, Jacuzzi, full kitchen, and billiards table. "How much...

A chef made my soup in a rush and I asked "Why didn't you add any herbs and spices?"

He said "Sorry, I didn't have the thyme".

If you've spent ages figuring out how to put herbs and spices on your belt loop...

...you've waisted thyme.

To the person who stole my spices, I hope you’re happy...

Because you’re living on borrowed thyme.

The cops picked up a couple of spices for robbing a bank. Oregano says he won’t talk,

But only Thyme will tell.






Credit to u/hawt_pawket for helping me.

I almost completed my collection of herbs and spices today!

But i didn't have the thyme.

What do you call someone with experience in spices

A seasoned veteran

My son used herbs and spices for dinner tonight...

I told him to stop as he's not a seasoned professional

There is a spice shortage...

There is a shortage of spices all around the world. One entrepreneur saw the shortage coming and stocked up. His advisor was pushing to sell it soon so that people could have all of their favorite dishes. The entrepreneur looked at his advisor and said "what's the rush? We've got all the thyme in th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cucumber, pickel and a penis meet at a bar.

Cucumber, pickel and a penis meet at a bar.

The cucumber says, man my life really sucks! Whenever I get big, fat and juciy, someones going to cut me up and put me in a salad!

The pickel says, you think you have it bad, when I got big, fat and juicy, someone poured vinegar and spices...

Did you hear about the man who reviews herbs and spices?

I heard he's a seasoned expert.

Police are searching for a fugitive chef after he killed a customer who was arguing about spices used in a dish.

They are saying it's only a matter of thyme.

I can't cook with spices right now...

...I just don't have the thyme.

Four farmers are feeding their chickens

The first farmer asks, "So, how do y'all like your chicken?"

The second farmer says, "I like mine roasted with some herbs and spices."

The third farmer says, "I like mine deep fried with some biscuits and gravy."

The fourth farmer takes out a bag of marijuana and feeds it to his...

I just got a notification from Amazon about the package of spices that I ordered

The thyme has come.

The Spice Mafia

It is a little known fact that some people want spices that they cannot obtain legally. Be it decades-old oregano, salt from the Last Supper, or the flesh of Sean Spicer, some people love strange and unusual spices. However, in order to obtain these spices, they only have one place to turn: the Spic...

My girlfriend complained about my obsession with spices.

So I said, "Bae, leave."

Working at home, I've had a chance to clean out the cabinets...

The spices in my cabinet were so old I had to throw them out.

What a waste of thyme!

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