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Spice Up Jokes

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A husband and wife were trying to think of ways to spice up their sex life...

So one day the man came home with some flavored condoms. That night they were in bed, and the wife went down under the covers.

A few seconds later she popped her head back up and said, "Ugh, that one tastes like cheese!"

And her husband said, "I didn't put it on yet."

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A elderly couple want to spice up their second life

They decide that the woman will take control for that evening.

She pushes the man to the bed and tells him to wait there while she gets changed in the bathroom.

She comes out a few minutes later wearing nothing but a cape, she stands there and yells SUPER VAGINA

The man replies ...

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An 85 year old man wanted to spice up his marriage

He went to a lingerie shop to get a sexy lingerie for his 80 year old wife. He got an expensive one and went home.

Later that night he gave it to his wife and told her to put it on. She went to the bathroom to put it on and found out that it was too small for her. She thought “He does not hav...

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A husband and wife of want to spice up their stale sex life.

They want to try BDSM for the first time. So one afternoon, the husband comes home from work, heads upstairs to the bedroom to change, and finds his wife spread out on the bed decked out in bondage gear and lingerie. Without skipping a beat the husband gets undressed and leans down and asks her in a...

Man and his wife are trying to spice up their marriage

So the husband comes home with a packet of flavoured condoms. He says to his wife;
"We'll play a game. I'll turn the light off, I'll put on the condom and you try and guess the flavour".
His wife goes down on him and after a few moments she calls out, "Cheese and Onion" as the husband res...

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Me and my wife decided to spice up our camping trip by having sex

It was fucking in tents

A bar owner is looking for some new musical acts to spice up the ambiance of his establishment.

He goes online, trying to find some local up-and-coming bands. He finds a couple of okay options: some country, some rap, some metal… Nothing really sticks out as the next big thing to him though. He keeps at it for an entire weekend, struggling to find something he really likes.

He then stum...

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I’m trying to spice up my sex life

So I started rubbing myself with oregano

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My woman wanted to try new things to spice up sex.

I told her to come over and I would show her the improvement on the 69. She got pissed when I told her it's called the 68. You suck my dick and I owe you one.

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

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A couple decides to spice up their sex life

The man asks his wife, “let’s try doing the “Bill Clinton”, where you blow me as I’m working”.

The wife says “ok, as long as we don’t do the “JFK”, where you splatter all over me unexpectedly”.

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I suggested to my wife that to spice up our sex life, we introduce fruit into the bedroom.

She went fucking bananas.

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Looking to spice up your sex life?

Wear a rubber glove next time so it feels like someone else's hand.

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A Married Woman Tries to Spice Up Her Sex Life

Woman: Hey baby, I just shaved my Pussy. Do you know what that means?...........
Man: Yes, the fucking shower drain is clogged again.

My wife said we should spice up our love life

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She said “let’s do a bit of role playing. I’ll be the doctor and you be the patient”.

“Alright...” I went with it, “How are you, doctor?”

“We have no appointments till November. Goodbye”.

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My wife says we should spice up our sex life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray.

First, she wants me to become a billionaire.

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My girlfriend and I wanted to spice up our sex life

The chili peppers were unsuccessful

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Role playing can spice up your sex life.

Pretend to be someone who's good at sex.

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An old lady wants to spice up her sex life......

so she buys red leather boots, a blue spandex jumpsuit and a cape. That night she runs into her bedroom and yells to her husband " SUPER PUSSY!". The husband says "Ill take the soup"

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A wife wants to spice up her sex life...

So she goes decides to try crotchless panties. Her husband gets home from work and she's on the couch waiting for him. He walks by, looks at her, then goes in the kitchen and gets a beer. He comes back and sits down like nothing happened.

Finally, the frustrated wife yells "Don't you want som...

My girlfriend wanted to "spice up the bedroom"

I hope she likes cinnamon.

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My wife has been watching porn to learn new ways to spice up our sex life.

The other night she laid down in bed and remained completely motionless while we made love. I asked what she was doing. She said “it’s called ‘buffering’ honey”.

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A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life (NSFW)

The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this? The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!

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My wife suggested buying some of those crotchless pants to spice up our sex lives.

But frankly, they make my balls hurt.

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A old woman wanted to spice up her sex life with her husband.

She is in the bathroom after a shower and ties her towel around her neck like a cape.

She runs out of the bathroom wearing nothing but the cape and screams "SSUUPPPEERRR PUSSY!!"

Her husband doesn't even look up from his book and just says, "I'll take the Soup"

A fireman decides he needs to spice up his marriage...

...so he tells his wife that he has an idea. He tells her that when he gets home he will announce a 'one alarm.' He will say 'one alarm, one alarm' and they will kiss passionately. Then the firefighter tells her that he will say 'two alarm, two alarm' and they wil take off all of their clothes on th...

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A man and wife are looking to spice up their relationship.

They have been married for years, and as many marriages do, things start to get dull. They decide they need to seek out new activities to keep their relationship going. They go to new restaurants, travel more, take dance lessons together, the works. But still, as they try all these new things, event...

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My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life...

She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse.

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there's an old couple trying to spice up their sex life...

and so one day the grandma visits a costume shop and buys a kinky supergirl costume. the next night, while watching tv, she stands in front of her husband with her cape over her shoulders, pussy fully bared and yells "super pussy!" and the grandpa replies "i'll have the soup."

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My wife and I, we wanted to spice up out sex life so we did a bit of role playing. She dressed as a nurse and I dressed as a doctor.

And that coma girl was already dressed as a patient, so she obviously was into it from the very beginning, your honor.

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Today was the worst day of my life...

First, my doctor tells me I'm dyslexic. Then, my wife texts me saying she's looking to spice up our sex life by doing Alan. Who the fuck is Alan?!

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A woman decided she needed to spice up her sex life. When her husband came home from work she was waiting for him wearing nothing but saran wrap.

When he walked through the door he looked at her and said, “Oh no! Not leftovers again.”

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nsfw Wife's New Panties

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, along with a short skirt and sets on the sofa opposite her husband. At certain moments during the game, she would uncross her legs, just long enough for her husband to see. Finally afte...

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After experiencing a dry spell in her marriage, a woman decides to see if there’s anything she can do to help her husband.

She heads to her local chemist and bravely asks the store worker if there’s anything she can buy to spice up her love life.

“Hi, can I get Viagra here?” she asks the old male pharmacist working at the local chemist.
When he confirms that they do sell Viagra she asks: “Can you get it over t...

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A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

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What is your asshole doing while you orgasm..

A professor was giving a lecture on uncontrollable muscle contractions to his medical students. Knowing that it was a boring subject he decided to spice up the lecture.

He pointed to a pretty blond women in the front row and asked, “do you know what your asshole is doing while you orgasm?”...

I’m thinking of killing off the main character in my new book.

It will really spice up this autobiography.

TIFU by taking my girlfriend to a food themed costume orgy.

Obligatory didn't happen today, but a few weeks ago, me and my girlfriend decided to spice up our relationship by going to an orgy. A mutual friend of ours gave us the adress, and told us to wear costumes. I was broccoli, my girlfriend was a tomato.

When we arrived, the door was unlocked. Th...

A magician is working on a Cruise Ship...

With him, he has a parrot to spice up his routine. Sadly, the parrot has the habit of ruining his show.

Whenever the magician makes something disappear, the parrot announces: "Saw it! You palmed it and hid it up your sleeve!"

When he does a card trick, the parrot says: "Saw it! Every ...

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The bullfrog (NSFW)

A man went into a porno-shop on day, looking for something to spice up his sex life.

He asked the teller "what would you suggest?"

The teller replied "since i don't know much about your situation, I do have one thing that may help"

The man reluctantly replied "what would that ...

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Super Pussy!

A middle aged woman decides it's time to spice up her sex life, so she decides to surprise her husband. After he gets home from work, she strips down naked, dawns a red cape, runs in the room, jumps in front of the TV and yells "Super-Pussy!"

After thinking about it for a second, her husband ...

I bought a tiny chili pepper plant today.

I wanted to spice up my apartment.

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Taste of Love

After 10 years of marriage John decides to spice up his sex life.
He buys various flavored condoms and when he comes home he blindfolds his wife and leads her to the bedroom.
“Mary, I want you to go down on me and tell me what flavor condom I’m wearing!”


“Cheese&Onions!”
<...

Date night

This couple who will be celebrating their 20th anniversary this Friday were talking over dinner tonight.

Wife: honey, our 20th anniversary is this Friday. Why don't we do something to help spice up our marriage a bit.

Husband: like What?

Wife: well, why don't we go to a bar and...

An elderly married couple is having problems in the bedroom....

So the wife goes to an adult toy store and asks the worker behind the counter what she can do to spice up her love making. The worker suggests some crotchless panties and takes her to see some. The wife looks at them and thinks they’re perfect She can’t wait to get home and wear them for her husband...

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