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PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES.

this is not a joke I’m suffering!

How did Mace die?

He fell out the Windu.

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What happens when you mace a German?

They can Nazi.

Do you know how mace died

He went through the windu

Why is mace an assault

When it’s really a pepper

A Horse walks into a bar.

He orders a drink and puts a can of pepper spray on top the bar.

The bartender proceeds to give him the drink and says “Why the strong mace?”

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Kobe Bryant used to cry during sex.

But, then, Mace will do that to you.

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Why do redditors wear goggles during sex?

To keep the mace out of their eyes.

I’ve got too much thyme on my hands

My hours are only parsley filled. I have anise and a nephew that I babysit, they are gingers, while my hair is salt and pepper. I guess these puns are kinda vanilla, but they’re just going to keep cumin. What’s a superheroes favorite garnish? Capers! If I keep it up you might spray me with mace. A g...

How to deal with black bears and brown bears when hiking.

1. Always wear bells to warn the bears you are coming and not startle them into a charge.
2. Always carry bear mace and spray it in the air towards the bear because they have sensitive noses.
3. Always inspect bear droppings to tell what kind of bears are nearby. Black bear droppings mostly ha...

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A beautiful woman walking into a sporting goods store...

She spends a few minutes shopping around until she finds a fishing rod that she would like to buy for herself. She picks it up and brings it to the front counter. When she arrives the only cashier is a blind man.

"Good choice" The blind man says "That rod is only $20 this week"

"How do...

Told my friend I went to the waxwork museum and they had a waxwork of a medieval knight wielding his weapons.

"Tussauds?"

"Nah, he was holding a mace."

A medieval knight walks into a bar, holding a large blunt weapon...

..."Why the long mace?", asks the barman.

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A little tickle...

One day a drunk was sitting next to a corner. A guy standing on the corner said to an attractive woman "Tickle your ass with a feather?". The woman, offended, said "What did you say!?". The man says "Particularly nice weather", and the woman went along her way.

As the drunk watched, the man d...

Why do blck men cry when they make love to white women?

Mace...

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Why do black guys always have red eyes after sex?

Mace.

What do you call an Indian Jedi?

Mace Hindu.

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I thought I had an std because my eyes started burning every time I had sex.

Then I realized it was just the mace.

Today I went to the protest

The protesters aren't going to mace themselves

The other night I went out on a blind date

Well it didn't start out that way, she had mace.

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Three men are trapped on an island...

Three men were trapped on the island. One was an American, one was a North Korean and the other was South Korean.
They were wandering around when they came upon a town of cannibals. They were tied with a rope. The Chief came out and said that the punishment was spanking their ass with a huge woo...

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