UPJOKE
islamkoshershariameatmohammedanismislamismmuslimismmuhammadanismcleanarabic languageshariahharamvegetarianveganhandicraft

Halal Jokes

I see that in the US they're complaining about halal meat. They want their meat to be killed the American way...

....but, honestly, what are the chances of a cow enrolling in high school and being shot by a classmate?

What do you cal halal cured meats?

Salaami

What did the halal lettuce say to the halal cucumber ?

Lets make salat

I found a way to make cured sausage halal for Muslims to eat.

I offered it to an Imam for testing. He takes a bite and says "Ah, Salami okay, yum!"

So I was eating out at a steak house the other night when some guy complained that the sign said Halal...

He said his beef should be killed the **American way**, to that all I could think is does he really expect a cow to enrol in a high school just to get shot by one of its peers?

What do you call a Muslim pepper?

A halal-peno.

I’m sorry.

People in China eat all kinds of crazy foods

But for some reason they only take halal organ donors

What do you call a Muslim guy who won’t date fat chicks?

Shallow Halal.

Which rapper is the most acceptable to Muslims?

Halal Cool J

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take h...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.