I'm addicted to placebos

I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference

-Steven Wright

What idiot decided to call it “randomized clinical trial with placebo”

And not “trick or treatment”

Did you hear about the new antiseptic healing cream that’s actually just a placebo?

They call it Pseudocrem.

Placebos

Turns out I'm addicted to placebos. I thought I could quit any time, but then withdrawal made me psychosomatic and gave me hypochondria.

Scientists have come up with a new name for experiments that utilize placebos

Trick or treatment

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know that the placebos is supposed to help with testing pills and medicines if they actually work...

But who's smart-ass idea was it to try it with Birth Control!?!?

The pink, plastic birds that are popular lawn ornaments in Florida.....

are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?

I was in a band in the 90's called "Homeopathy"

We were a bit like Placebo but not as good.
Once we played at a festival, a bit unsuccessful because most of the crowd left to see the Cure instead.

On my way home from work today I was listening to Placebo..

I thought I was listening to something else, but obviously I was the control group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy went to the doctor and said “Doc, I’m not feeling so great. In fact, I t’ink I’m goin’ mad”.

Paddy went to the doctor and said “Doc, I’m not feeling so great. In fact, I t’ink I’m goin’ mad”.
The doctor said “Look out the window and tell me what you see”.
“Nointy noin” Paddy announces, clearly proud of his achievement.
“Ninety nine?” asked the doctor. “But all that’s out there ar...

Is that placebo working for you?

Well, now that you mention it, no.

I went to a concert to feel better today

I thought it was The Cure, but it turned out to be just Placebo.

I got in trouble for using performance enhancing drugs

I took a placebo before my psychology exam

My doctor is concerned my hypochondria is getting worse

So he put me on stronger placebos.

What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?

The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.

The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead ...

I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors.

I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.

So I was part of a double blind clinical study...

So I was a part of a double blind clinical study of the effects of sugar pills on patients. Little did I know, I was part of the placebo group and was given Xanax.

They found the biggest hypochondriac yet…

… he overdosed on placebos.

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