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Placebo Jokes

What idiot decided to call it “randomized clinical trial with placebo”

And not “trick or treatment”

I’m addicted to placebos.

I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Viagra and a placebo?

Never Gonna Get You Up,
Never Gonna Let You Down.

I went to see The Cure in concert last weekend.

Halfway through the show, a cover band called Placebo took their place on stage. I enjoyed both performances equally.

Did you hear about the new antiseptic healing cream that’s actually just a placebo?

They call it Pseudocrem.

Placebos

Turns out I'm addicted to placebos. I thought I could quit any time, but then withdrawal made me psychosomatic and gave me hypochondria.

Is that placebo working for you?

Well, now that you mention it, no.

Scientists have come up with a new name for experiments that utilize placebos

Trick or treatment

On my way home from work today I was listening to Placebo..

I thought I was listening to something else, but obviously I was the control group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know that the placebos is supposed to help with testing pills and medicines if they actually work...

But who's smart-ass idea was it to try it with Birth Control!?!?

A guy goes to the doctor

The doctor informs him that he was given a placebo. The guy asks,
“What’s a placebo?”

The doctor replies,
“It’s better if I don’t tell you.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pharmaceutical company began clinical trials for a new sedative.

The goal was to develop a non-prescription drug that provided perfectly smooth, calming relaxation with just one pill. On the first day of trials, the lab assistant realized they had forgotten to pick up the sugar pills that were needed for the placebo. The lead researcher was furious! Most stores i...

What do you call a fake opera singer?

Placebo Domingo

Two concerts

In my whole life I’ve only ever been to two concerts. I’ve seen Placebo, and I’ve seen The Cure.

They were just as good as each other

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and trie...

Why do Anti Vaxxers Hate concerts

They always mix up Placebo and the Cure

The pink, plastic birds that are popular lawn ornaments in Florida.....

are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?

What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?

The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.

The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead ...

I got the Russian COVID-19 vaccine the other day

I saw the bottle and learned the Russian word for vaccine is 'placebo'

I went to a concert to feel better today

I thought it was The Cure, but it turned out to be just Placebo.

My doctor is concerned my hypochondria is getting worse

So he put me on stronger placebos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The results of a 3-year trial for a drug that prevents diabetes are in.

A scientist walks into his boss's office to brief him on the results.

"How did you conduct this study?" asked the boss,

"We gave a group of 300 participants our drug, at 3 doses a day, and another 300 a placebo. We then found the number of people in each group who had diabetes." replie...

I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors.

I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.

They found the biggest hypochondriac yet…

… he overdosed on placebos.

So I was part of a double blind clinical study...

So I was a part of a double blind clinical study of the effects of sugar pills on patients. Little did I know, I was part of the placebo group and was given Xanax.

My doctor advised me for stress reduction to listen to opera music

He gave me a CD. I've been listening all night but I'm not sure if its actually having an effect. It says on the cover the guys name is Placebo Domingo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy went to the doctor and said “Doc, I’m not feeling so great. In fact, I t’ink I’m goin’ mad”.

Paddy went to the doctor and said “Doc, I’m not feeling so great. In fact, I t’ink I’m goin’ mad”.
The doctor said “Look out the window and tell me what you see”.
“Nointy noin” Paddy announces, clearly proud of his achievement.
“Ninety nine?” asked the doctor. “But all that’s out there ar...

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