UPJOKE
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Why do robots eat Gyros?

to balance their diet

Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because




ROBOTS CAN...

Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.

They call it Mars.

The book 'I, Robot' is about sentient robots, but did you know it has a sequel about sentient submarines?

It's called 'U, boat'

Why don't Robots have Brothers?

Because they all have Trans Sisters. :)

Why are robots bad in bed?

They just screw, nut and bolt.

Why are so many robots progressive?

Many of them have transistors.

Why don’t they build nervous systems on robots?

They would rather give the robot a confident system.

What do you call a robots one night stand?

A nut and bolt

What's a Robots favorite animal?

A cowculator.

From my 7 year old.

Do female robots have a...

Computerus?

How do robots eat guacamole?

With computer chips

Q: Why don't robots have brothers?

A: Because they all have trans-sisters.


^^^thanks ^^^tumblr

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

I have invented microscopic robots that can form the face of Robin Williams.

I call them "nanu-nanubots."

Why do so many robots live in Africa?

'Cause Botswana.

What haircut do rastafarian robots have?

Droidlocks

Why are Democrat robots so bad at dancing?

They were built with bad Al-Gore-rhythms.

Why don't robots like apples?

They're androids.

Robots are the most loyal lovers

Their love just can't be bot.

What is a restaurant for robots called?

Dell taco

What do you call a family of Mexican-American robots?

Tex Mechs

Even robots need a day off.

When I was a young man in in Army Cadets, we had big ornamental robot that we called ‘old-iron-sides’ with a big brass bugle that would play all the calls to the troops. In the morning it would play ‘reveille’ to wake, ‘mess call’ for meals, ‘drill call’ to assemble in the square, etc. We all got so...

A joke for robots.

10010102

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All the sex robots I’ve seen hate cuddling

They just Nut and Bolt

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Why do robots never cuddle after sex?

Because all a robot does is nuts and bolts.

Why don’t robots play Pokémon?

They can’t CAPTCHA ‘em all

My wife told me robots don't wash themselves.

So I put one in the bath and said "that'll shower"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once the sex robots learn cooking...

women will be 'screwed'.

Humans vs Robots

A company working on artificial inteleigence created three robots. To test them, the company announced a competition of various tasks between the 3 robots and 3 humans. Lo and behold, the robots won in every category so far, but there still was one; hunting.

In this task, the competitors had...

"All the women that want to go on a date with me are such robots," I told my brother.

"You're wrong," he said, "all the women that want to go on a date with you are the opposite of robots."

"What? How?"

"One's artificial intelligence and the other is genuine stupidity."

let robots vote like any other person

so they wont have to manipulate elections through social networks

What kind of programming do trans robots have?

Non-Binary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why robots are not good for health

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend'...

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots."

The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."

I'm not saying all factory workers are robots...

All I'm saying is when they get to work they've returned to their factory setting.

Now that robots move

their limbs smoothly and with grace, i wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex robots will soon be common place....

They just need to work out all the kinks.

Sometime in the future, robots are going to cancel Mark Zuckerburg

Because he tried to make fun of humans by wearing white face.

How do robots say goodbye?

They use bye-nary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently Scientists have created robots to give love and support to people

The first word that came to my head was "RoBlowjob"

How do robots go to the bathroom?

They come poot.

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