Scotch Whisky Jokes - 5 Hilarious Scotch Whisky Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My small grandson got lost in the shopping mall....

He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"
The guard asked, "What's his name?"
"Papa"
The guard smiles then asked, "What's he like?"
The boy hesitated for a moment then replies,
"Single malt Scotch whisky and women with big tits...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all die and end up at the Pearly Gates...

St. Peter welcomes them all in.

He says, as per standard Heaven protocol, for your first 100 years you get one of anything you like, unlimited, with no consequences.

The Englishman says "Well I really like sex, can I have 200 horny 18 year old stunners to play around with?". St.Peter...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irish man were captured by a serial killer.

The serial killer said “I will kill you all, but as a final act of kindness I will let you each decide how I will kill you.”

The Englishman accepting his impending death said “I want to die by suffocation, but please make it quick.” So the serial killer picked up a pillow, smothered the face ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scotsman, an American, and a Mexican...

A Scotsman, an American, and a Mexican are travelling in a hot air balloon when it starts to rapidly lose altitude.

"Quick!" says the Scotsman, "We need to lose some weight, fast."

He throws his case of fine scotch whisky over the side.

"Why did you do that?" says the American. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man knows his scotch!

A man walks into a bar and asks for 40 year old scotch whisky.

The bartender says "I'll see what I can find in the back"
He emerges from the back only a few minutes later with a glass and gives it to the man. He takes a sip and, "I asked for 40 year old whisky. This is only 12 year old."...

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