Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to...

[Long] This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. It was released by the Canadian Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision

Canadians: Negative. Divert your course 15 degrees to the South

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy sh...

Why do Canadians like to do it doggy style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool on a hot summer day?

Blow a whistle and say, "Everyone out of the pool, please!” How do you get 20 Americans out of a pool on a hot summer day? Blow a whistle and say, "For your own good and the safety of others, stay in the fucking pool!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend said she’s only attracted to Canadians.

I guess she’s eh-sexual.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God is creating the world, and he talks to the canadians

He says to them “You will have the best land ever. It is beautiful, in the summer it is warm and in the winter it snows beautiful snow flakes. It is called Canada. You will have prosperity and food for all your days.”

He then gets the Australians, and says to them “I give to you Australia. Yo...

Canadians

Stop stereotyping Canadians. They're such nice people

Two Canadians die and go to hell.

Satan puts them in their own cell and turns up the heat to 49C, figuring that’s a good temperature to start newcomers. He comes back a while later to find the Canadians shirtless but smiling.

“It never gets this warm in Canada we’re enjoying while it lasts.” One of them explains when a mystif...

What do Canadians say when they see an oak tree?

Ok (oak-eh)

Why is Alberta known as the Texas of Canada?

Because Canadians don't know about Arkansas.

Two Canadians in Kentucky

So these two Canadians are driving into Louisville, Kentucky and are arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city.

“Its pronounced Lou-is-vill…obviously” The oilman from Alberta says

“No, you see, it is French! It is pronounced Loo-ie-vee!” The guy from Quebec retorts.

Th...

What do Canadians call the joints in their fingers?

Canuckles, eh!

What kind of beer do Canadians get when they head towards the bathroom.

IPA

I have always head that Canadians are nicer than most other people...

... that’s not really Trudeau.

Canadians and British are very upset about yesterday's events.

They are no longer the only ones that rushed the Capitol.

What type of arthritis disproportionately affects Canadians?

Psorryatic arthritis.

What's a Canadians favorite song?

Y-M-C-EH


Sorry if it's been told before, inspiration by u/photogent

Four Canadians come to an intersection...

And they're still here to this day.

How do Canadians take down enemy aircraft

With an Eh Eh gun!

What's a Canadians favourite alcoholic beverage?

A mi-moose-a!

The Canadians get sent to hell

So the rapture happens and all the Canadians get sent to hell because they didn’t hold the door or say sorry enough and the devil sees them celebrating. Bothered by this he asks “you’rein hell why are you celebrating“ and the Canadians respond “it’s like minus thirty where we live this is awesome. A...

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

What do Canadians get on their report card

Staight EH'S

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