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Distillery Jokes

Elmer Fudd and Daffy break into a distillery.

Daffy turns to Elmer and says, “ Is this whiskey?”

Elmer says: “yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”

Elmer Fudd and Bugs bunny are planning to rob a distillery.

Bugs asks Elmer “if it is whiskey”? Elmer replies, “yes, but not as whiskey as robbing a bank”!

Two young lads break into a distillery...

One boy says to the other, “is this whiskey?”

The other boy replies, “yes, but not as whiskey as wobbin a bank.”

I was thinking about going into business and opening my own distillery...

But my accountant thinks that's a whiskey investment.

Paddy and Mick were trying to get a loan to open a new distillery but every single bank turned them down.



Apparently they thought it was a whiskey business.

As the owner of a start up gin distillery I've been trying to break into the Asian market.

Unfortunately though the Thai tonic mixes very poorly with ice.

Why is the forklift operator at the distillery you own always so nice to you?

Because it's his job to lift your spirits.

My great-grandfather started up an underground distillery during Prohibition

It was a whiskey business

If Tom Cruise owned a liquor distillery, what would he call it?

Whiskey Business

Who would win in a drinking game between an Irishman and a Scotsman?

The distillery.

Did you hear about the allegations on the forged distillery?

Sorry, fake brews.

Jimmy savile and Michael Jackson bought a whisky distillery before they died.

They went on a tasting tour and the tour guide said "I've got one that you'll love! It's a cheeky little 12 year old that goes down easy"

I want to start my own distillery, but i'm a bit hesitant....

it's a whisky business.

A man falls into a vat at a scotch distillery...

he drowns in the vat and the workers decide that despite this they'll still bottle this batch.

While tasting they agreed that despite the odd taste it was full bodied.

There are two Chinese guys, one of them wants to rob a brewery…

His friend asks; “Why don’t we rob a distillery, we’d make more money?”

“It’s too whisky.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - because we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from you...

what causes arthritis?

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the 4th grade teacher’s birthday and all the kids brought in presents.

The teacher was a little worried about Billy’s present though because his father owned a vodka distillery. And ask Billy ever talked about was his father’s business; how vodka was made, what made vodka the best liquor etc. So she has a bad feeling she knew what Billy’s gift would be.

Finally...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boat was shipwrecked in the South Pacific, as a result...

A group of people from different nationalities found themselves stranded on a remote and beautiful island. The party consisted of:

-Two Italian men and one Italian woman

-Two French men and one French woman

-Two German men and one German woman

-Two Greek men and one Greek...

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