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I should open a bar that serves only shots and sipping whiskies, and is called...

Drinking, Fast and Slow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A young man goes to his local pub and orders 3 large whiskies

The barman says "everything ok?"

The man drinks the first and says "yeah, I've just had my first blowjob."

And immediately drinks the second.

He picks up the third and says "it was a big one" and drinks the last of his drinks.

The barman says "Congratulations. I'll buy yo...

A 6-year-old walks into a bar...

The bartender tells says they don't serve minors as all they have are hard liquors. The child says he wants two whiskies then a malt. The bartender says that he needs to see ID. The child shows an ID from another country, claiming he is 95 years old. The bartender gives the child the ID back and ask...

The rain was pouring down outside O'Connor's Irish Pub.

The rain was pouring down outside O'Connor's Irish Pub. There
standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman,
drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the
water.
A passer-by stopped and asked him, "What are you doing?
“Fishing” , replied the...

A father-to-be was waiting anxiously outside the labour ward where his wife was delivering a baby.

A nurse came up to the man and said, 'You have a girl, but there's another one on the way, so come back soon.'

'Twins,' he thought, a little shakily. He went away and came back an hour later to be told that the second baby had been born, but there was still another on the way.

'Good gr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Drunks. (warning: dirty)

Two drunks were standing around on the street talking. The first one says ,"Goddamn, Ernie I need a drink! I got fifty cents. How much you got?" Guy reaches in his pocket and pulls out 35 cents. "Damn, we can't get no drinks for 85 cents!" The first drunk thinks a minute and says "I got an idea. Let...

Classic walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and orders six whiskies. He lines them up in a row and knocks back the first, third, and fifth glasses. Then he gets up to leave. " Don't you want the others?" asks the barman."You've only had three of your whiskies." "Best not" replies the man, "My doctor said it was only oka...

A warning to all my friends.

Be careful about drinking and driving as we are getting closer to Christmas.

Police are out in full force with loads of road blocks all over. Last night I was out for a few drinks and one thing led to another, and I had a few too many beers which then went on to whiskies. Not a good idea. Kno...

An animal prosthetics expert walks into a bar

"What's wrong buddy?" The bartender asked. "You seem down."

"Two whiskies, please. I made a lot of Faux Paws at work today."

Husband takes his wife to the pub

A nagging wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he takes her along with him.

"What'll you have?" he asks.
"Oh, I don't know. Same as you I suppose," she replies.

The husband orders a couple of straight whiskies and throws his down in o...

A man breaks down on a country road in Ireland and hears a voice.

He opens opens his bonnet/hood and looks at the engine. He knows nothing about cars and has no hope of fixing it, then he hears a voice "Check the alternator"....Where the hell did that voice come from, he looks round and leaning over a gate is a huge white horse looking at him "Check the alternator...

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