All my wife drinks is Alkaline Vapor Distilled Ionized Water.
She’s such a basic bitch.
A stranded man
Young man’s fishing boat is blown off course and he ends up stranded on a small island. He gets along OK but he’s very lonely. Then, one day, A yacht sinks off of his island. A young woman, the only survivor, swims ashore wearing a wetsuit. He greets her and she is surprised to find somebody else on...
A friend told me he started selling artisan home-distilled fermented grain mash on etsy...
I replied, "Sounds like a whiskey buisness."
I don't drink alcohol. I drink distilled spirits.
So I'm not an alcoholic. I'm spiritual.
I didn’t feel like cooking tonight, so I made a sandwich for dinner
It wasn’t so much as a sandwich as much as it was just bread.
I guess more just grain.
Distilled, fermented grain.
I had whisky for dinner tonight.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Official outdoor temperature scale
Official outdoor temperature scale:
+10 Residents of Vilnius apartments wear sweaters and put on wool socks. The Finns plant flowers.
+5 Finns sunbathe in the sun.
+2 Italian cars don’t start.
0 Distilled water freezes.
-1 Breathing becomes visible. It's time ...
I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked...
MAID: -What would you like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: -Tea pls.
MAID: -Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?
ME: -Ceylon Tea pls.
MAID: -How do you want it, black or white?...