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How do Australians clean their butts?

Bidet, mate.

Non Australians may not get this lame joke

Q: What's the name of Ben 10's older brother?

A: Glen 20

What do Australians say to someone they hate?

Go die, mate!

I was watching an Australian cooking show this morning . The chef made meringue. The audience all cheered for him.

This surprised me. Australians usually boo-meringue.

A joke for Australians

The Garbo's doing his rounds and he gets his mate,the bogan's place and the bin ain't out the front. So the Garbo knocks on the door. "G'Day, Bogan. Long time no see. Where's ya bin?" Asks the Garbo. "I bin on holidays." Says the Bogan. "Nah mate, where's ya bin?" Repeats the Garbo. "I just s...

Folks keep joking about Australians losing the war to emus...

....but last Wednesday Americans lost to pigs.

I met a lot of Australians recently

They are very unique folk. They are obsessed with eye color. Mine are, apparently, very amazing. Whenever I meet one, for whatever reason, the first thing they always say is "good eye."

Two Australians were sitting around talking over a beer..

After a while the first Australian says to the second, “If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The second Australian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head...

How do Australians order monkies?

Amazon Prime, mate.

One for the Australians:

A Victorian walks into a bar.

If Hell is red hot, dry and mostly empty,

then how do Australians realize that they're dead?

Why are Australians such confident baseball players?

They’re always being told “good eye”


Yes I realize this is stupid :)

Why won't Australians see your posts?

They can only sort by hot right now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Australians prefer to stream their porn on local area networks?

They come from a LAN down under.

Why are Australians stocking up on toilet paper in response to Coronavirus?

They think it will have a major impact down under.

Australians are geniuses.

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fu...

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God is creating the world, and he talks to the canadians

He says to them “You will have the best land ever. It is beautiful, in the summer it is warm and in the winter it snows beautiful snow flakes. It is called Canada. You will have prosperity and food for all your days.”

He then gets the Australians, and says to them “I give to you Australia. Yo...

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Only Australians and/or New Zealanders will get this joke

A large man walks into a bar and looks for a place to sit. Every stool and table is taken but at the end of the bar is a little man drinking a beer by himself. So, the big man walks up behind him and slaps him across the back of head and he falls to the floor.

The little man gets up rubbing h...

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