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My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros...

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My favorite joke

I went to go visit my friend Chuck on his farm out in Greater Minnesota, and he's showing off his barn, crops, and livestock. When we get to the swine corral, there's an enormous boar... with three wooden legs.

So I ask him, "why does that pig have three wooden legs?"

"Well, Steve, tha...

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There are two men on opposite sides of the earth.

One is 300 ft up on a tight rope with no safety net, and the other is getting a blowjob from 96 year old women. They think the same exact thing at the same exact time


Oh god, don't look down!

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