UPJOKE
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The former presidents are having lunch (Credit u/ThePerfectSnare)

**Bush**: Now, being president isn't as easy as it looks. It's like they say, you can drag a horse to water, but... but you have to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

**Obama**: I, uh... I appreciate any guidance you and the other presidents are willing to offer me.

**Bush**: ...

I tripped and hit my head on a snare drum.

I think I have a percussion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Two snares and a cymbal fall off a cliff

Bah dum tsss

What do you need to make trap music?

A snare drum

There was once an old trapper drinking in a tavern.

He didn't have much money, so he loudly made a bet to every one in the room,"Blind fold me and bring me any pelt! I'll tell you what animal it was and how you killed it! If I'm right, you buy me a drink. If I'm wrong, drinks on me!"

The first taker stepped up to the bar. "Alright, old man. ...

What’s a rabbits least favorite instrument?

A snare drum

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Honey : What the fuck are you doing?

Man : I'm making holy water.
Honey : How so?
Man : I'm boiling the HELL out of it..

*drum rolls with additional emphasis on the snare*

How do you catch a drummer?

By laying down a snare.

Why did the drummer's wife stop sleeping with him?

Because he used to snare in his sleep.

Heard a joke once

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says treatment is simple. "The great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

...

Disney is already working on a sequel to Beauty and the Beast...

They're calling it The French Prince in Belle's Snare.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unicorn hunting...

Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk.

Paul asked Kurt, “So, what do you hunt?”

Kurt answered, “I hunt unicorns.”

Paul was startled, but said, “Really? How do you do that?”

Kurt replied, “I find a virgin and hire her to help me. The virgin sits ar...

Two guys are on survival training

And it's been days with no food. They've tried snare traps, they've tried fishing with spears. Still nothing. Each night as they light their campfire, they cautiously cook plants, but within hours they are sick. Finally, one of the guys says, "let's try eating wood." He starts breaking up pieces of...

If I could bring three items to a desert island I would bring a trapping guide, a water purifier, and a car door.

With the trapping guide I could lay snares so I wouldn't go hungry, with the purifier I could have a source of clean water so I wouldn't get thirsty, and with the car door I could roll the window down so I wouldn't get hot.

Bunga

Three friends travelling through the Amazon jungles become lost, when all of a sudden they are snared up in a huge net. Suddenly, 100 angry looking tribesmen appear and drag the 3 men back to the village.

When they arrived at the village, the chief comes out and says in broken English "You tr...

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