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Kin Jokes

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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says: "Kin ya swallar?"The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks: "Kin ya breathe?"The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt...

The original name for Jedis was "Force Kin".

I wonder why they rolled it back?

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Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help." He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head ...

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Family ties, or is we kin?

Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local factory.


After a few beers, the first guy says to the second,

"If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your ...

Choking Lady

Two hillbillies walked into a local restaurant as they had decided to stop by for a bite to eat. While they dined, they talked about their moonshine operation.

All of a sudden, one woman sitting next to them (she had been eating a sandwich just right across their table) begun to cough. After ...

Why was the Jewish Jedi lonely?

Because he had no Force Kin.

Whats the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

What’s the difference between your granny and your granary?

One is your born kin and the other is your corn bin.

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas…

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town...

A young widow goes to the funeral parlour to plan her husband's funeral

She met with the mortician who asked her how she wants the body dressed.

"He always looked so good in blue. I want him to be buried in a blue suit."

This posed a problem as he had been delivered to the funeral parlour in the black suit he was wearing when he died. However, the wife was...

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Kin jong un points missiles to the whole world

His instructor said that if he wanted to destroy the UK he just need to press the blue button, and the UK is gone.

Kim Jong in then asks: but what if I want to destroy the rest of the world?

For Which the instructor replies:you just need to press this yellow button, and the world is g...

It was to be the biggest scientific press conference of the decade.

Geneticist Rick Hallorann spoke to the crowds of reporters, camera flashes illuminating his face.

"The time has finally come for the first human cloning experiment to be performed," he began. "The technology for us to clone humans has been around since the eighties - but only now, after plent...

What do rednecks do on Halloween?

Pump-kin.

What do hillbillies do on Halloween?

Pump kin.

What is a rednecks favourite fruit?

Pump kin...

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Kin Ah Borry the Pickem-up Truck?

A young redneck girl wanted to go to the barn dance, so she approached her father and asked if she could borrow the truck. The father replied, "Ya sure can, sweety, but first ya gotta suck mah dick."

This wasn't the girl's first experience with this, so she promptly landed on both knees and ...

Superglue comes with a warning: "Caution - Instantly bonds skin." But a whole shipment got out with a misprint: "Caution - Instantly bonds kin."

That's how I ended up marrying my first cousin.

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.



I'll see myself out...

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

An Irish Priest

An Irish Priest is Transferred to Iola, Texas.

He rose from his bed one morning; It was a fine spring day in his new West Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in ...

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How is Star Wars like a penis?

Luke and Leia are force kin.

What do you call the child of a siphon?

A pumpkin.

Susie Lee Done Fell In Love

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy ’bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, “Susie gal,
You’ll have to find another.
I’d just as soon yo’ Ma don’t know,
But Joe is yo’ half brother.”

So Su...

How do they sing Linkin Park in Alabama?

Craaaaaaaaawling in my kin

A joke I thought of this morning.

Q. What's the only vegetable you can inflate?


A. A Pump-kin

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday.

A man picked up the phone and said: “Hello! I am wan kin the chef.” I said that I’ll come back later

Don't Choke!

Two Texans were having lunch at their favorite restaurant when they noticed a young woman at the next table having trouble breathing.

One of the Texans got up, walked over to her table, took her face in his big Texan hands and said, "Kin ya swaller?"

She shook her head 'no.' "Kin y...

What is the state fruit of Arkansas?

Pump-kin

What do you call cousins who sleep together?

Nap kins

Last week was my birthday...

and I didn’t feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy birthday!” with a possible present for me.

No such luck. Barely a good morning, let alone a “Happy birthday”.
I figured…well, that’s marriage for you. Maybe ...

Say what you want about Alabama...

They know how to put the “kin” in “kinky”

Did you know Anakin Skywalker was Jewish?

You can tell because he cut up his force kin.

Paddy is leaving his wife

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from ...

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What's the hypothetical official squash of incest porn?

Probably a pump kin

What do you call a family member with bipolar that stays still?

A Manic Kin

What do you call a little person who cannibalizes their own family?

A munch-kin.


That joke was stupid.

So I was watching tv last night and saw a trailer for the new fantastic four movie. It looks like its going to focus on their kids and how they team up to fight crime.

Apparently its going to be called "The Fantastic Four's Kin"

What do you call family members you sleep with?

Nap-kins!

What do Jack-o'-lanterns and Alabamians have in common?

They both pump-kin

A man with the 'Rona disease

A man with the 'Rona disease
Threw caution and care to the breeze
No mask with his kin
He did them all in
With a sniffle a cough and a sneeze.

Why is a Jewish Jedi Master always an only child?

Because he has no Force-kin.

Alabama Starbucks have released a new drink this month

Pump Kin Latte

I bought my grandchildren some crayons. I have to say...

... they make my kin scrawl.

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A Scottish priest is driving home when he comes across a dead pig lying on the road.

So he calls the police to inform them.



A cocky sergeant answers the called. "Did ye read him his last rites?" smirks the sergeant.




"Naw." replies the priest." I thought I would inform his next of kin first!"

An astronaut lands on an alien world.

Once upon a time an astronaut landed on an alien world. The world was full of trees and plants and wildlife. But one species in particular caught his eye. Short and round with huge feet, they were kind. They sang songs all day, drank, and made merry. After observing them from afar for many days, the...

How do hillbilly gourds reproduce?

They pump kin.

I'm getting sick of spending time with my Scottish family and their Scottish cows...

Wee kin, wee cow

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

What do Alabama folks and children celebrating Halloween have in common?

They both wanna pump kin

What do you call a furry that sometimes cosplays as star wars characters?

Ani-Kin

For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern.

She's our little pun-kin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't jews have arranged marriage?

They have no 'forced kin'.

I'm so sorry

The best part about Halloween is when my family who love puns visits

It's great seeing my pun-kin

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Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia?

It gives them an opportunity to *pump-kin*.

Happy International Women's Day

During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand... the eccentric boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond... and swim to the shore. Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million... but if killed by the crocs...2 million will be gi...

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A priest finds a dead hog in a ditch by the wayside...

Figuring the poor animal has been killed by a careless driver, he calls up the police for someone to come pick up the carcass.

The officer on the other end, not without humor, chucklingly mentions that he thought it was the church's own business to take care of the dead.

"Yes indeed, ...

Y'all heard about the state gourd of Alabama?

The pump-kin...

What do you call a fat relative around Halloween?

A plump-kin

Boy gets engaged down south

Down South, a young man falls in love, and he rushes home to tell his Pappy about his new sweetheart.

Pappy sadly shakes his head back and forth and says, "Son, I hate to tell ya, but in mah youth, I sowed mah wild oats, and that girl is yer half-sister."

Brokenhearted, the young man c...

What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

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