UPJOKE
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What did the mama Llama say to the baby llama as they prepared for a picnic?

Alpaca lunch

What does an Italian Llama say?

Llama mia!

What do you call a stampeding herd of Llama?

THE ALPACALYPSE

Never date a llama that has kids

You don’t need the baby llama drama

If a pack of llamas is called a cria, what's a pack of camels?

Why your dad left

A Rabbit, a Monkey and a Llama walks into a bar.

The bartender looks at them, and goes:" I think you're ALL in the wrong joke."

The rabbit says :"Man this is worse than when I was just a typo."

What do you get when you cross a llama and a sweet potato?

You get a Yyama!

Whoops, almost forgot to bring my llamas

Alpaca pair

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a llama that hoards anything and everything to be prepared?

An all-packa

What did the llama said to the other llama?

¿Como se llama?

A llama walks into her house to see her husband in bed with another llama

After a moment of intense silence, the husband gets up and says, "alpaca my bags."

The Dalai Lama is working with Peruvian engineers to move llamas more efficiently…

It’s the Dalai Lamas’ llama dolly.

What do you call a llama that is really late ?

A dally llama

I heard llamas are going to bring about the end of the world.

It's going to be Alpaca-lyptic.

What do llamas type when they are laughing?

Llamao

A llama went on a trip

But he wanted to bring his brother Carl

Carl was excited and said, "Don't worry about food; alpaca lunch"

No one is afraid of llama kisses

So why is everyone so worried about the alpaca lips?

What do you call a skinny and malnourished llama?

Da'light' llama

Who serves you when you're high and visit a restaurant in Tibet?

The Deli Llama

So the Dalai Llama walks into a pizza place...

... and says, "make me one with everything"

Which sultry-voiced singer will happily spit in your face?

Llama Del Rey.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

I brought my Arabic friend to the zoo to see Llamas for the first time.

Once we got near them I told him which of the animals was a Llama, and then asked if he thought they looked good.

He turned to me with a confused look on his face and said,

“We’ve been talking for a while, why did you just greet me again?”

Equally confused, I replied,

...

Hey Llama, 90% of our friends don't find your puns funny.

Yeah, but at least pun intended?

A polygamist lion walks into a bar with 3 of his wives: a giraffe, an ostrich and a llama.

He walks up to the bar and asks the rhino bartender to recommend a beer.

Rhino: "Sure, we have lots of great choices on tap."

Lion: "C'mon man... Can't you see I prefer longnecks?"

Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and David Grohl go to Tibet to visit the Dalai Llama.

As soon as they enter the room his eyes widen and he blurts out, "Finally!"

What do you call a toy alpaca that has obtained enlightenment?

The Dolly Llama

How do camels learn to mate ?

They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....

What do Tibetans use to move their alpacas around?

Dolly Llamas

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck.

Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was head-butted by an animal in the Andes...

It was a blunt-force llama.

Where do llamas go on vacation?

Alpacapuco

Okay, Lama spelled with one 'L' is a holy man in Tibet. With two 'L's, a llama is a South American pack animal.

So, what is a three 'L' lama?

A big fire in Boston.

Another one!

Two llamas were preparing to go on a trip, one asked "Did you pack Sunscreen yet?" the other responded with "No, but Alpaca few."

What do you call a religious animal that loves sandwiches?

The Deli Llama.

Why did Trump call for a ban on all llamas entering the US?

because he isllamaphobic

What happens when you make a Llama sing along to a song by the Cranberries?

You get a zombie alpacalips

What did the male alpaca say to the female alpaca?

Como te llama

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

A group of movie producers are working on the next avengers/MCU movie

Producer 1: Does anyone have any ideas for the villain?

Producer 2: Ok, how about a 14 foot tall, flaming eye-ball, with poison swords for arms, who shoots lasers from his feet, and has a pet llama made of diamonds

Head producer: You’re over-thinking this, let’s just keep it low-key

Did you hear about the woman who moved to Peru?

She is such a llama queen.

Jack and his llama walked into a bar...

They ordered a drink and had a good time.

What did Mario say when he saw the Alpaca?

Don’t-a worry it’s a false-a llama!

South American dad joke.

Son: "I'm going to take the herd of llamas up to the pasture in the mountains."

Mom: "Thats a really far walk, you're gonna get hungry."

Dad: "Dont worry, alpaca lunch for him."

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