Everything that went extinct before the ice age was a hipster

They were dying before it was cool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone thinks that unicorns never existed but it turns out they actually just went extinct

Ironically they weren't horny enough

According to recent scientific studies it's possible that all marine life will be extinct by the year 2050.

Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.

Why didn't the sloth go extinct?

They didn't plan on going anywhere.

Fish will be extinct by 2020 in the US

Their fault cause they gather in schools

They say whales are going extinct...

...but have you been to Golden Corral recently?

What do gingers and extinct dinosaurs have in common?

Not enough.

We don't have to worry about bees going extinct anymore...

Bethesda just announced that they'll be releasing their newest title with bees instead of bugs.

What was the last dinosaur to become extinct?

The Toys R Us

The dinosaurs never went extinct...

Today they're just called flat earthers.

Why did they mammoths get extinct?

There wasn't any daddoths

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

Why don’t t-Rex’s eat plants?

Because they’re extinct

A chemistry professor posted a bonus question to an exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it so difficult for a T-Rex to masturbate?

Because they're extinct.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom?

Because they’re extinct moron

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom

Because they're extinct

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.



"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"



"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."


"You wish is my command". There was meat.


"And what do you wish for?"


"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

Why did the T-Rex run away from the bathroom?

Because extinct

Our new Space Force is exploring mars

The new Space Force has finally arrived at mars, and an exploration ship has been investigating the snow and ice covered North Pole area.

A field biologist excitedly rushes in to his general, and exclaims, “Sir, incredible news! We have discovered a strange, silicon-based form of life in the...

(NSFW) So me and my native american guide were out buffalo hunting

I figured I would take him since his people are rather well known for living off the buffalo before they went relativly extinct. So while we were out in the field I just followed him and let him lead the way. Eventually he said he thought he had begun to find a trail but we later lost it.

So...

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A police officer catches Dave duck-hunting, checks to make sure he has the right license.

So Dave went hunting in the woods, one day, and ***BAM!***, shot a duck.

A bored, nearby trooper waiting in his patrol car near the highway hears the gunshot, gets out, and runs into the woods to find Dave holding the duck.

The trooper yells, pointing at Dave, "You stop right there! L...

Why can’t a T-Rex clap it’s hands?

Because they are extinct.

Yo momma so fat...

The dinosaurs went extinct when she forgot her parachute.

How do you stop a Rhino from charging?

Nothing.
They're extinct now so you dont have to.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer is walking down the stairs of his law firm.

This guy is dressed in an expensive suit, he's wearing shoes made from an extinct reptile and orphan tears, and He's walking to his brand new Lamborghini. Just as he opens the driver side door a truck comes speeding through and tears the door from its hinges. The lawyer visibly shocked and pissed ye...

If a Bengal tiger is attacking your mother-in-law and spouse, who will you save?

The Bengal tiger of course!! They're getting extinct in the world.

Snow leopards are no longer endangered

They're extinct

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took my daughter to the zoo.

"Daddy," she said. "Where are the dildos?"

"Ha-ha," I laughed awkwardly, as people around me looked uncomfortable. "You mean dodos, honey. Dodos are extinct."

"But mummy said that I would see one some day."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

What do you call the strongest dinosaur whoever lived?

Extinct.

[Read This Outloud and fast To a Friend and See if they're smart and good listeners]

Three Buildings that are next to each other all caught on fire at the same time. The first building has children inside of it, the Second building has About to be extinct animals and the cure too cancer and finally the third building has Old people. The ambulance quickly arrives... which Building wo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a dodo and a camel are walking along a beach...

When all of a sudden they come across a genie lamp half buried in the sand. Feeling pretty amped about the whole situation; they rub the lamp and out comes the genie.

In a regal tone, the genie introduced himself: "Good morrow sirs! I am Jean the Genie, and as the rubbers of the lamp you are...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pussy Eating Frog (NSFW)

A woman had some time to kill, so she decided to go browse in a pet store. She's looking around, and the owner approaches her and asks if she's looking for anything in particular. She says, "No, I'm just browsing."

"Well, perhaps I can interest you in one of our new arrivals. He's a very r...

Good News: The Giant Panda is no longer considered 'Endangered'.

Bad News: It's now considered 'Extinct'.

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

An anthropologist is completing his lifelong study of world dance...

And he's celebrating. Celebrating his tail off.

See, he'd spent the last 25 years cataloging every single dance performed by every group in the world. Polish Bogarodzicas. Sioux Buckskin dances to Seminole Green Corn dances. Inuit dances to the whales, Ghanaian Kpanlongo, Finnish step-dance. ...

Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?

Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.

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