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Extinct Jokes

We tried to tell the dinosaurs that they were headed for extinction

but it was all in one era and out the other.

What do gingers and extinct dinosaurs have in common?

Not enough.

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

I donated to a group trying to make all cows go extinct.

It’s a no bull cause.

Why can’t T-Rex clap their hands?

Because they’re extinct.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate?

Because they have been extinct for millions of years.

Mass Extinction

The Lunar Laser Ranging experiment has shown that the moon is moving away from the earth at a rate of about two centimeters a year. If you perform a regression you'd find that 65 million years ago, the moon must have been orbiting the earth at a height of about 20ft, which, if you think about it, ex...

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?

Because of ereptile dysfunction.

How did cavemen survive the extinction of the dinosaurs?

Temporal distancing

A chemistry professor posted a bonus question to an exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ...

Dinosaurs didn’t go extinct

They found Jesus and got raptored

The dinosaurs never went extinct...

Today they're just called flat earthers.

What was the last dinosaur to become extinct?

The Toys R Us

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone thinks that unicorns never existed but it turns out they actually just went extinct

Ironically they weren't horny enough

We don't have to worry about bees going extinct anymore...

Bethesda just announced that they'll be releasing their newest title with bees instead of bugs.

What was the last thing the dinosaurs said before going extinct?

Edit: Wow thanks for the support guys, this comet really blew up.

They say whales are going extinct...

...but have you been to Golden Corral recently?

Everything that went extinct before the ice age was a hipster

They were dying before it was cool.

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

I read on the news today that a guy caught a fish they thought was extinct...

and now they're *sure*.

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.



"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"



"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."


"You wish is my command". There was meat.


"And what do you wish for?"


"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

According to recent scientific studies it's possible that all marine life will be extinct by the year 2050.

Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.

TIL Columbus was responsible for the extinction of the Taíno people

Which is weird, because I haven't even heard of them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If the human race were close to extinction and there was only one woman left.

She's fucked.

Dinosaur Fact

Towards the end of the Jurassic period, the Thesaurus was the first Dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.

English is the lingua franca of the internet, science, aeronautics,

and of using Late Latin phrases concerning an extinct pre-French language to mean "universally spoken".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of scientists are trying to save the Albino Gorilla from extinction...

A group of biologists were working in a lab on cape horn, trying to save a rare albino gorilla from extinction. There were only two individuals left in the species.

One day, entering the lab, the scientists find the male gorilla dead. It looked to be the end of the species, until one scientis...

Yoh mama so fat that when she buys a fur coat...

a whole specie of animal is gonna become extinct.

Fish will be extinct by 2020 in the US

Their fault cause they gather in schools

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet?

Cause they’re fucking extinct

A dinosaur came to his wife

And said, - Darling, let's make love.

\- I can't - she says - I'm busy today.

Some time later, he came again and said - Darling, I want you.

\- Sorry - she said - I have a headache.

A few days later, he invites her again.

\- No dear - she answers. - Wrong time of t...

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist Joke.

So something happened to me recently.
You know a shenanigan gone wrong at work.

So because of that wrong doing, I was advised to seek mental guidance in the form of a person who was getting payed to listen to me.

Yes a therapist. Duh hoy.

So I met with said therapist, in whi...

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

What do you call the strongest dinosaur whoever lived?

Extinct.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took my daughter to the zoo.

"Daddy," she said. "Where are the dildos?"

"Ha-ha," I laughed awkwardly, as people around me looked uncomfortable. "You mean dodos, honey. Dodos are extinct."

"But mummy said that I would see one some day."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

Some think T. rex’s never clap because their arms are so short.

I think it’s because they’re extinct.

How do you stop a Rhino from charging?

Nothing.
They're extinct now so you dont have to.

If a Bengal tiger is attacking your mother-in-law and spouse, who will you save?

The Bengal tiger of course!! They're getting extinct in the world.

Snow leopards are no longer endangered

They're extinct

Give a man a fish, and you’ll find him for a day. But teach a man to fish,

And he’ll over fish them to extinction then starve to death.

Ending it all

Brad was sick of the World, of Covid-19, those who hate China, global warming, species extinction, racial tension and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage at home, carefully sealed up around the windows and doorways of his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?

Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.

Two dinosaurs are having a conversation.

The male dinosaur says:

"Mm-hmm."

The female dinosaur responds:

"Nuh-uh."

Years and decades pass and the male dinosaur says again:

"Mm-hmm."

And again the female responds:

"Nuh-uh."

And that is how the dinosaurs went extinct.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interesting fact:

Before cyanobacteria, the progenitor of photosynthesis, earth was mostly oxygen-poor and dominated by anaerobic (can live in and thrive without oxygen) bacteria. Most of these bacteria were strict anaerobes, meaning oxygen would kill them. After cyanobacteria evolved, earth became flooded with oxyge...

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