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Iq Jokes

What's 200 yards long and has an IQ of 40?

The queue to buy toilet paper at Walmart.

An IQ below 70 qualifies you for having an intellectual disability

Now I just need to figure out if that's in Celcius or Fahrenheit

I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions

1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate

I'm thinking about starting a dating app for low IQ people.

I'm calling it OK Stupid.

What do you call an IQ of 160 in the marines?

A Platoon.

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There was once a scientist who found he could raise his IQ by masterbaiting

It was a stroke of genius

I just took an IQ test and I am SO happy...

Thank God it came back negative!

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 75?

Your Honor!

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Senator!

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A donkey had an IQ of 186.

He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

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I just took an online IQ test...

"404" sounds pretty fucking high!

What was the high-IQ sperm bank called?

Crème de la Crème

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Did you hear the one about the donkey with a low IQ?

It's a stupid-ass joke.

I have the IQ of a pencil without an eraser

I create problems and make someone else clean them up

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My girlfriend has an IQ of 200 and I'm jealous of her.

So last night I fucked her brains out.

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200 IQ baby

Father: “Say Daddy”

Baby: “Mommy”

Father: “No, say Daddy”

Baby: “Mommy”

Father: “Fuck you! Say Daddy!”

Baby: “Fuck you”

*Mother arrives home*

Mother: Honey, I’m back! How’s the baby?

Baby: “Fuck you”

Mother: “What?! Who taught you that a...

I have an IQ of 180

I took the test 3 times and added up my scores

Very few people know this, but legendary motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel was a very intelligent man, and had the same IQ as professor Stephen Hawking.

They also shared a love of ramps.

You know, there was this IQ test designer suffering from the worst writer's block

He'd make decent progress, working out patterns like 'circle-3, triangle-2...' but no matter what, he always found himself going back to 'square-1'.

Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville?

Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.

Viruses can mutate over time. Take Covid for example...

It started as a pandemic illness and turned into an IQ test.

A genie offered me either +10 million dollars or +10 IQ points. I took the +10 IQ points.

Damn I was stupid.

Testing the dog's IQ

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.

Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is definitely smarter than you.

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An intestine claimed to have a higher IQ than the brain.

But the intestine was full of shit.

My IQ is so high...

...I had to take the test twice to add the scores together.

Robot Bartender makes a great Martini

A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, climate change, and AI m...

Took an IQ test today.

Got 404, guess I'm a genius

True story

So my friend and I were at his place and for some reason argued about who was smarter than the other, so we decided to do an online IQ test.

He went first, as he was sitting at the computer, while I looked on. He scored an impressive 120. Then it was my turn: 121.

There was a moment of...

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A genie offered to increase my penis length by 1 inch for every 10 IQ I traded...

Hehdixka a. Sueuwkk aksjns sjebbe Magjxianq an

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trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, and there was only one question on the test...

If the President of the United States and the President of the US Virgin Islands are in an elevator, how many people are in the elevator?

400 IQ work joke

One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

Bill replies: “Easy, 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”

My IQ dropped from 70 to 42. I was worried. Then I checked again, it was 110. I was shocked, I checked again to find it was 150. I rushed to the doctor.

She told me it's my pulse and not my IQ.

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They say watching porn might affect my IQ.

Ha, screw it, I don’t even have that Apple product.

I took an IQ test and I'm part of the 1%.

Apparently there aren't that many people with an IQ below 60.

There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ

It's 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper you have at home.

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Did you know that Flemish people are consistently rated as highly attractive, but have a low average IQ?

Stupid sexy Flanders.

I heard that if you drink beer and smoke weed that you'll gain an extra 50 IQ points...

They call this phenomenon "Budweiser"

My math teacher told me my IQ is pretty average.

Now that's just mean.

A friend of mine asked what my IQ was...

I told him it was 60. He was pretty shocked, but I'm not worried. I was tested in Celsius.

I went to a Trump rally the other day, and the only thing higher than the average IQ of the crowd...

Was the average BMI.

Today I had a covid and an IQ test.

Apparently I have 85 corona in my body. Does anyone know if thats a lot?

Oh and for those wondering, my IQ test was positive!

I just took an IQ test!

I got a 70, but hey, that’s passing right?

My little brother just said my IQ is 0 and that he is 300,000 times smarter than me

300,000×0 = 0

The average IQ of America rose by 3% today.

We’re happy to report the succesful birth of baby chimpanzee Pascal at the San Diego Zoo.

My girlfriend is really supportive but she's not very bright. One time, during a fight, I asked her "What's your IQ, anyway?!"

She shouted back defiantly "20/20!"

My IQ is unmeasurable...

The scale doesn't go that low.

I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined.

By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me.

Once I had developed my IQ

my life changed 360 degrees

Did you know that Facebook IQ tests can actually tell a lot about your intelligence?

If you believe the results, it means you're not very intelligent.

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Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways

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IQ Test

I went to a restaurant once that had a game in the lobby you could play. The sign said "Test Your IQ: 25 cents!" While I waited for my table I decided to give it a try. I put my quarter in and on the screen it said press A or B. There were two buttons there so I decided to press A. The screen then s...

I just aced my IQ test

I got 90 out of 100!



(The sad reality: a person I met IRL was extremely proud that he scored 75 points on his IQ test because he thought the scale went to 100.)

Survey finds that 1 in 3 Republicans are of below average IQ

The other two are Russian Hackers.

A company develops a machine for evaluating IQ.

The scientists developing it asks for the help of the supervisor, manager and president of the firm to test the machine.


When the supervisor places his head on the machine, it responded: 'IQ 160', and he was very impressed.


When the manager places his head on the machine, it re...

Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?

Because they're in-bred!

I'm so dumb and out of shape

My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ

What has an IQ of 100 and a full set of teeth?

The front row at a NASCAR race.

IQ result

Psych Admin: "Sir, your IQ results are in, you scored 91."

Me: "Wow, my first A+"

I like Florida.

Everything is in the 80s: The people, the temperature, and the average IQ.

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They say that using penis enlargement pills can affect my IQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of bullshit, and I don’t even have that fucking stupid Apple product.

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Fucked a girl that had "IQ: 163" tattooed on her buttcheeks.

What a smart-ass.

I have an IQ of 300

I also have dyscalculia

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Why did god give Marines one more IQ point than he gave to horses.

So they won't shit during parades.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

Donald Trump just turned 73

which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

Took an online IQ test and they said it'll cost $20 to get my results.

Geez, I'm not that dumb.

TIL Billy Mays had an IQ of 63

Would that make him an OxiMoron?

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

Drool.

These exchanges were recorded verbatim by court reporters and published in the book, "Disorder in the American Courts".

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

WITNESS: How would I know?
___...

A guy is talking to his friend.

He says "I got my IQ tested and got a 70, that makes me a genius. "

Friend says "70 doesn't mean you're a genius. "

Guy says "you sound like that idiot at the testing center."

What do schools and the anti-vax movement have in common?

Both are raising the world’s average IQ

What has 110 legs, 250 teeth, and an IQ of 500?

The front row of a Donald Trump rally.

I took an iq test yesterday on Facebook, as a matter of act...

and it told me im a genius! in the *top 99%*!

What do you call a white supremacist with an IQ of 56?

Gifted.

In the House of Commons, the new speaker made an announcement

The old speaker will pack his bags and go become the speaker in Washington DC as part of an exchange program given that it would improve the average IQ of both legislatures' speakers.

Clever Insult joke

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

All of the people on r/iamverysmart lie about their IQs.

As someone with a 176, I see right through it.

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Unvaccinated kids have been found to have lower IQ's than vaccinated children.

Can't blame them, their parents are dumb as fuck.

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