UPJOKE
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Put Together Jokes

I decided to put together a support group for erectile dysfunction

It was a big flop and nobody came.

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

A group of friends put together a basketball team to play on the local town league and called the team “bye”

So far they have accumulated 4 wins from opponents no-shows.

Two death row inmates who hate each other can be put together in the same cell because

they’ll finish each other’s sentences.

I put together a list of 288 dead baby jokes to post.

I decided not to post them because it would be two gross.

One year for my sister’s wedding anniversary, I bought my sister a jigsaw puzzle that when put together would show her wedding picture.

Little did I know that shortly after that, her marriage literally went to pieces.

I was watching a documentary about how ships are put together the other day...

**It was riveting.**

My eldest put together a Dora joke

When my two younger sons were in the toddler to kindergarten age, they loved watching Dora the Explorer. Episode after episode. My wife & I found it very cute.

My eldest found it quite annoying. But he was a teenager then.

He came up with a Dora joke after a weekend of 500 (just...

A dinosaur dies and wakes up millions of years later being put together in a museum

He was puzzled.

Biden has been trying to put together is new cabinet for weeks.

After not having much success, he finally called up IKEA for help.

TIL If you stretched the DNA in one cell all the way out, it would be about 2m long, and if you did the same with all the DNA in all your cells put together

You would be dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets into a fight with his wife. (Put together terribly)

They live right on the coast of California, the man gets kicked out of his house by his wife so he goes for a walk along the beach. The man suddenly stops when he hears this loud booming voice.

Terry(Thats his name from now on) I see you have gotten into quite the fight with your wife, its tr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there is an elite team being put together for a government agency...

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And the ONLY requirements are you have to be married, you cant have any children, and you must have a law enforcement/military background. So police officers and ex military from all parts of the state start lining up and fighting for the position. And after...

There's a man named Johnson who owns a nail company, Johnson Nails.

Business had been slow lately, so Johnson figures he might want to try putting out a youtube video to drum up some business.

He goes to an advertising agency and meets a man named Jim who assures him he can make the perfect ad for Johnson's company. He tells Johnson to come back the nex...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A reporter walks into a bar

A reporter walks into a bar in a small Louisiana town. He's been sent by his editor in the big city to get a human interest story, and so he walks up to some burly guy in overalls and offers him a drink in return for the story of the best day of his life.

"Best day? Well, that must've been th...

It takes a lot of nails to put together a crib

But it only takes one screw to fill it

A blonde is trying to put together a puzzle

She simply cannot figure out how to do it, so she calls her boyfriend.

He asks her: "What is the puzzle is supposed to look like when finished?" and she replies, " it's supposed to look like a tiger."

He drives to her house, and when he gets there, he begins laughing hysterically....

You know why it's so difficult to put together a baseball team of egotists?

Everyone wants to play first.

Just got my ticket to the Fibonacci convention!

I hear this year is going to be as big as the last 2 put together.

Want to hear my latest joke about the Fibonacci sequence?

It's as good as my previous two Fibonacci sequence jokes put together!

I just heard that the Swedish prime minister quit after just a few hours

And I thought I was the only one who couldn't put together a Swedish cabinet.

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