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Recruiter Jokes

A recruiter said to a candidate, "In this job, we need someone who is responsible"

The job applicant replies,

"I" am the one you want. In my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible. XD

A Navy recruiter asks a man “Do you know how to swim?”

The man replies, “Why? Have you run out of ships?”

Recruiter: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

“Alive, hopefully.”

Recruiter: "what's your biggest weakness?"

"I don't know when to quit."

"You are hired!"

"I quit."

Upon arriving in hell, I was surprised to find a clerk asking me, “In which military would you like to serve?” Turns out Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and Otto Von Bismarck overthrew Satan centuries ago and have been fighting each other ever since.

"Oh, that’s an easy one, ” I reply.

The clerk looked at me, skeptical.


“You don’t even want to talk to a recruiter? They can tell you all about the perks of each side.”

“No thank you. I know Napoleon will never lose.”

“Well, that’s a pretty stron...

A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army

The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

Why was the army recruiter in the nursery?

To find more people for the infantry!

I'm sorry.

I'm a recruiter for my company. Before I look at any resumes, I always throw half of them out.

I only want the lucky ones.

Man comes for a lumberjack's recruitment interview

Recruiter: Do you have any experience as a lumberjack sir?

Man: Yes, I used to work in the desert.

Recruiter: But there are no trees in the desert!

Man: There are no trees... anymore, sir.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The CIA is running a recruitment program for potential assassins...

The recruiter has selected three canidates, two men and a woman.
He hands a gun to the first man and says, "Okay, your wife is in that interrogation room. If you want in, then you have to kill her."
The man immediate refuses and is sent home.
The recruiter then hands the gun to the sec...

Two Arkansas brothers decide they are going to do their patriotic duty and enlist in the military.

The first recruiter's office they come to is an Air Force recruiter. The two walk inside, and are greeted by the recruiter, " Gentleman, what can I do for you today? He asks.


One of the brothers speaks up. " My name is Darryl, and this is my brother Billy Ray. We would like to join up Sir...

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division...

a guy eagerly asked his recruiter what he could expect from jump school. "Well," the recruiter replied, "it's three weeks long." "What else?" he inquired. "The first week they separate the men from the boys," the recruiter said. "The second week they separate the men from the fools." "And the third ...

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