A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army

The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

Two Arkansas brothers decide they are going to do their patriotic duty and enlist in the military.

The first recruiter's office they come to is an Air Force recruiter. The two walk inside, and are greeted by the recruiter, " Gentleman, what can I do for you today? He asks.


One of the brothers speaks up. " My name is Darryl, and this is my brother Billy Ray. We would like to join up Sir...

I'm a recruiter for my company. Before I look at any resumes, I always throw half of them out.

I only want the lucky ones.

Recruiter: "what's your biggest weakness?"

"I don't know when to quit."

"You are hired!"

"I quit."

A young man wants to join the Navy. "Can you swim?" the recruiter asks him.

"Why, don't you have boats?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They need the money.

Two poor friends can't get jobs during the pandemic. They got fired from a lumber yard during layoffs. They decide they should join the armed forces. The Air Force pays the most so the both go to the recruiting office the next day. The first guy goes in and the recruiter asks him what his former job...

Today I had an interview for a job at Microsoft, and the recruiter asked me "Why do you think you are a good fit for our company?"

I replied: "because I too am micro and soft right now"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The CIA is running a recruitment program for potential assassins...

The recruiter has selected three canidates, two men and a woman.
He hands a gun to the first man and says, "Okay, your wife is in that interrogation room. If you want in, then you have to kill her."
The man immediate refuses and is sent home.
The recruiter then hands the gun to the sec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two military recruiters enter the bathroom

They both have to piss and get into their stalls. The marine recruiter finishes first and starts to walk to the mirror to check his gig line.

As the Navy recruiter finishes and starts washing his hands he turns to the marine and says, "ln the Navy they teach us how to wash our hands. "
...

After extensive testing the C.I.A. has gotten down to it's final 3 candidates of this recruiting cycle, being 1 female and 2 males.

The recruiter tells them that in working for the C.I.A they need to be ready for anything and the final test is to prove this.

The recruiter explains that each recruit will have to go into the interrogation room that their respected husband or wife is in and kill them with the gun provided. ...

Man comes for a lumberjack's recruitment interview

Recruiter: Do you have any experience as a lumberjack sir?

Man: Yes, I used to work in the desert.

Recruiter: But there are no trees in the desert!

Man: There are no trees... anymore, sir.

Why was the army recruiter in the nursery?

To find more people for the infantry!

I'm sorry.

Two guys go for a job interview

Joey and Frank are good friends who had worked together for over 5 years, but are now between jobs. They decide to go to a hiring agency together. Joey is called in to see the recruiter first, and after about 10 minutes in the room, he comes out elated. "I got the job!". Frank congratulates him and ...

Upon arriving in hell, you’re surprised to find a clerk asking you “In which military would you like to serve?” Turns out Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and Otto Von Bismarck overthrew Satan centuries ago and have been fighting each other ever since.

“Oh, that’s an easy one.”

The clerk looked at me, skeptical.
“You don’t even want to talk to a recruiter? They can tell you all about the perks of each side.”

“No thank you. I know Napoleon will never lose.”

“Well, that’s a pretty strong allegiance... sure you don’t want to ...

Job interview for a TV news anchor

At a job interview for a TV news anchor an applicant seems very qualified and well suited for the job. But the recruiters notice an uncontrolled wink in the man's right eye. They tell him that he'd be great for the job if it wasn't for the frequent winking, which probably won't go down well with the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a job interview

Recruiter: What do you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Applicant: Being sincere, i think.
Recruiter: Why I don’t consider sincerity to be a weakn...
Applicant: I don’t give a fuck about what you think, really.

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