UPJOKE
chairmanbushpresidencychief of stateclintonhead of stateleaderviceheadsecretaryministerexecutiveprimerepresentativechairperson

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes are like U.S. Presidents

This one is fucking awful

There's a term for Presidents like Trump.

Probably not two terms, though...

Jokes on reddit are like US presidents.

You might see a new one every four years or so.

Four former U.S. presidents...

Four former U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.

“What brings you before the grea...

All of these presidents are so corrupted

Except for Abraham Lincoln, he was in a cent.

Why do some presidents make such great fishermen?

They know exactly how to rig the poles,
tell tall tails, and lie about the size of their cache.

Before the end of the world, God gathered three presidents: Biden, Xi and Lukashenko.

God told them: “Go and tell your people that in two weeks, the world will end.”

Biden went back to US and said: “I have two pieces of news. One is good, and the other is bad. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that in two weeks, the world will end”.

Xi w...

Presidents

Two guys, one American, one Russian, are discussing their presidents:

– We despise our president, you know, when Trump is out in the crowd, everyone throws eggs, fruits - saw somebody throwing a pineapple at him; he get spit a lot and we swear at him aloud ...

– Here, In Russia, when P...

After the Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender...

Who are the most open-minded presidents?

Abraham Lincoln, James A. Garfield, William McKinley, and John F. Kennedy

God is talking with the presidents.

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"

Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"

"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."


Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"

Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, a...

If you ever feel useless...



Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...



the Taliban

Jokes on this sub are like US Presidents

Last time I saw a good one, it was dark.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A white man, a black man and an orange man walk into the bar.

The white man goes up to the bar to order a whiskey. The barman goes, "Hey, aren't you George Bush?"
"Yes, I am" he replies. "Well Mr. President it's an honor."
Then the black man goes up to the bar to get his drink. "Hey, aren't you Barack Obama?" asks the barman. "Yes I am", Obama responds....

I was asked to describe the last two us presidents in 5 words

Orange is the new black

Who were the greenest Presidents in US history?

The Bushes

How many U.S. Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

Forty-five. A couple dozen to turn it to the right, a score of them to turn it to the left, and one to really, really screw it at the end.

The Genie and the Presidents

George Bush, Barack Obama, and Donald Trump found a magical lamp, and a Genie came out.

"I will grant each of you one wish," said the Genie, "If you can tell me one true fact about yourself. If your statement is false, then you will die."

George Bush thought for a moment, and said, "I...

What do former presidents Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton have in common?

They both said “screw you” to aid(e)s

2/3 of all impeached presidents were done so for the same reason

for embarrassing Hillary Clinton

Famous Quotes from US Presidents

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” ― George Washington

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.” ― Thomas Jefferson

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ― James Madison

“Try and fail, but don...

Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president

Sorry for putting the punchline in the title.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Plan

In the beginning, there was a plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan without substance

And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it sti...

American presidents are on a sinking ship!

Ford says: What do we do?

Bush says: Man the lifeboats!

Reagan says: What lifeboats?

Carter says: Women and children first!

Nixon says: Screw the women!

Clinton says: You think we have time?

A Russian spy infiltrated in America is arrested

A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American officials. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”

Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.