UPJOKE
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Pods Jokes

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods.

But it's harder to deter gents.

I'll let myself out.

People who eat Tide Pods are idiots.

The Costco brand pods are half the price. Just saying.

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

What's the difference between Tide Pods and McDonald's?

One is full of dangerous chemicals that people keep eating for some reason, and the other gets your clothes clean.

I used to be addicted to Tide Pods...

But I’m clean now.

What do Tide Pods taste like?

Natural Selection.

What if tide pods..

Are just cleaning up people who should have been stains in the first place?

Tide announced the new motto for their pods line.

Cleaning the gene pool since 2017.

Intercourse is a lot like AirPods

It seems like everybody has it, but I just know that for me it cost a lot of money to get it.

If you pass your AirPods to your kid...

Do they become HeirPods?

Last year, kids were eating tide pods. This year, they're getting vaccines and picking up trash.

Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!

There is an upside to eating Tide Pods....

It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.

What do Prince Andrew and Tide Pods have in common?



They should always kept away from children

Did you know air pods are for poor people.

They can't afford the wires

Trump brings back the Tide Pods challenge to fight against the Coronavirus

What? It's a disinfectant...

Be careful picking up strange AirPods off the street

You might get hearing AIDS

I feel bad for all the people eating Tide pods.

They haven't figured out that Cascade actionpacs taste way better.

I don't know why people think eating Tide Pods is dangerous...

I mean, you could start today and eat them for the rest of your life.

Ladies that eat Tide pods should be aware it could negatively affect their chances for a romantic relationship. Odds are likely that it will...

...detergents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aaron is in geometry class. His teacher is yelling at him because he’s wearing AirPods while the teacher is talking. In the middle of his rant, Aaron says “You’re such a square!”

The teacher says “prove it”.

Instead of using the fear of prison to dissuade criminals, we should start making them eat Tide Pods.

That would be a real crime detergent.

Recent reports have shown that Tide Pods can be used to clean your bathtub or jacuzzi...

Since they're already acting like chlorine on our gene pool

People keep laughing at Millennials over this whole eating Tide Pods thing, but it started with Bill O'Reilly

“Tide goes in, Tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the Tide goes in.”

My mom caught me lying about smuggling Tide pods out of the house instead of doing the laundry

So I had to come clean

What kind of phones do squids use?

CephaliPods

How do Halloween characters listen to their music?

Scare pods

What do you call it when an Apple fan is watching a 90s movie on a tablet about a dog that plays basketball on their wireless headphones?

They're watching Air Bud on their iPad through their Air Pods earbuds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm 17 and I like to write jokes in my spare time. Thought reddit might like to hear some.

I think blonde jokes are awful. I mean, the poor things don't even understand them.

So I got this pair of shoes that cost me an arm and a leg. Luckily, my mom still pays for everything.

Statistics have shown that 9 out of 11 people are offended by this joke.

I've yet to be dispr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pierre Dumonte Wiffade was a French explorer and biologist....

Pierre Dumonte Wiffade was a French explorer and biologist who was, in 1792, considered one of the country’s chief ornithologists. Credited with discovering and describing over 200 different bird species, he spent most of his life hopping from island to island, describing the wildlife, and moving to...

What do bondage enthusiasts use to do their laundry?

Tied pods.

Thank you God

for giving me food to sustain my body, TidePods to clean my clothes, & wisdom to know the difference.

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

Yo momma so stupid...

...she tried to buy Tide Pods with food stamps.

I, an Orca, tried to warn my brother countless times.

He just had to eat that family of dolphins in shallow water.


Well, the idiot beached himself.


If I told him once I told him a thousand times.


“Don’t eat Tide Pods.”

After retiring to a small village in the country, a mathematician soon becomes restless...

One day his wife suggests he pursue his hobby for electronics repair and open a shop. On the first day of business, he places a sign out front that reads “Electronics repair — No Apple products!” His wife inquires: “Why shut out some of your best business? iPhones, iPads, iPods, and iMacs, and some ...

A little girl is eating her vegetables

Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen will reward you with much more than my life!"

With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom...

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