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Blower Jokes

Top managers are like leaf blowers.

They make a lot of air and noise moving a problem to another place. It stinks.

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I struggled with winter until I bought a snow blower.

It has made my life a thousand times easier. I load it in the back of my truck and drive south until someone says "What the fuck is that"? and that is where I spend the winter.

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What do you call someone who's sexually attracted to trees?

A leaf blower.

I guess half of America are whistle-blowers this morning

Cause we're all Snowden

My leaf blower doesn’t work

It just sucks!

A professional glass blower

A professional glass blower was training up a new team. They kept giving him the poorest quality silicates which resulted in some very cloudy pieces. So he got them all together and said, "I just need to make something perfectly clear".

leaf blowers are dangerous in battle

i hear they’re leaf-al

Why does Trump want his Whistle Blower to testify?

Clinton’s whistle blower got to testify.

Why was the glass-blower forced to retire?

He sucked...

Did you hear the one about the whistle-blower for the Church of Scientology?

###

Nobody did. He was swiftly killed and any evidence surrounding his existence was erased from history and censored from the internet.

Why couldn't the NSA whistle blower leave Russia?

He was Snowden

Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

I got fired from my job of making leaf blowers...

because they all sucked.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower?

Give the bitch a shovel.

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

I got stabbed at the flea market.

I thought it would be fun to take my son to the flea market to see the wide array of commodities being sold.

"Oh, look! There's an ice cream man!" My boy exclaimed. So we walked up to the ice cream booth and I said: "Hey there ice cream man!". And then we ordered a couple cones.

Next...

What do you call a whistle-blower in a blizzard

Edward Snowed-in

You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,...

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While everyone is arguing over whether it's called a snow blower or a snow thrower, I invented a way to turn a dishwasher into snow removal device.

...
I bought my wife a snow shovel.

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Neighbors pissed cause I wanted to surprise them with a clean yard before they woke up.

Hauled my leaf blower over there for no reason.

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Leafblowers are dangerous

Be careful! If you point a leaf blower upwards, it blows up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW What do you call a Scandinavian prostitute that only gives blowjobs?

A Leif blower

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What do you call an Eskimo prostitute?

A snow blower

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Eskimo prostitutes.

Are they considered snow blowers?

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What do you call a Canadian Prostitute who specializes in blow jobs?

A Leaf Blower

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Farmer Bill and Farmer Joe

Farmer Bill and Farmer Joe were sitting in a bar, drinking and joking around, the conversation soon falls silent.
"Ya know what Joe?" Says Bill "I aint had enough education, tomorrow im going to night school!"
"Good idea Bill," says Joe "Tell me how it goes!"

The next day Bill visits ...

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A prostitute propositions a snowman, "I can be gentle or dominant. I can be anything you want me to be."

The snowman hands her $20 and says, "Be a snow blower."

If a teacup holds tea and a coffee cup holds coffee then what does a peecup hold?

Three Mexicans, a lawn mower, two leaf blowers and a half dozen rakes will fit in a peecup (pickup with Spanish accent).

A man dies ...

A man dies. When he arrives at the gates of Heaven, Saint Peter is welcoming him. The saint started to walk him throug heavens, where he could eat, sleep, and all the other pleasures heaven has to offer. At one point, they reached a room full of clocks. Most of them were moving, but all on a differe...

The memo

An older man hires a guy every fall and his only job is to use my leaf blower and get the leaves out my yard.

He only pays in checks though. Just so he may write "thanks for the blow" on the memo line.

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